Hi All:
I've been searching for a website like this. I need as much support as I can receive. December 6, 2004 I found out I was pregnant. It seemed so unreal and shocking that I don't think I ate anything for two days. I'm approximately five to six weeks pregnant.
I'm far away from my immediate family, but I do have friends and a second family that have "adopted" me. I'm 30, educated and I am employed, but the father of the child is only 22. We had a very ugly argument and he said some very hateful things to me. I never knew that this man had an evil bone in his body. I'm the oldest of eight and I remember how my parents struggled with eight kids (we did have a wonderful childhood) and how my sister and brother struggle being single parents (my sister is the mother of beautiful twin girls) and I swore that I would never bring a child into this world without two loving and supportive parents.
I have decided to have an abortion (I'm not emotionally, financially and mentally ready to raise a child) and I have prayed and asked God to forgive me. We grew up in a very spiritual home in which abortion was spoken against. I will never reveal my decision to my parents or siblings. I am prepared to deal with this situation emotionally. However, I do know that I will never forget this.
I am scared, I do want to have children in the future. Is there anyone on here who have had an abortion and was still able to have children? I welcome any advice or comments.
Thanks
Saturday, December 11, 2004
My Decision Is Abortion
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28 comments:
Quote:We grew up in a very spiritual home in which abortion was spoken against. I will never reveal my decision to my parents or siblings. I am prepared to deal with this situation emotionally.
Are you sure? I'm not trying to second guess you. I had an abortion twelve years ago, and though I've had a lot of hard times, I'm ultimately happy with my decision. It was definitely the best thing I ever did for me. I'm not saying it was a happy or a cheerful time, but things have worked out fine. You can read my story in the How Has Abortion Touched You? forum on this board. Mine is titled "My Saga." I'm pretty sarcastic about life in general, so "My Saga" is fitting. I guess what I'm trying to say is that a few of the women I known of who just couldn't move past their abortions were the ones who had serious moral issues regarding abortion. Often they seemed to come from homes where abortion was actively opposed, and they had gone against their personal belief system by having an abortion, which I understand can be deeply disturbing. I came from a strict Southern Baptist upbringing, and in many ways I had already seen the aspects of that belief system that did not work for me before I became pregnant, and the fervent opposition of abortion never worked for me at all. However, had I bought into that belief system, part of it would have been a very strong opposition to abortion under any circumstances, and I wonder if I would have been able to move on as I have had I adopted that belief system. I guess what I'm asking is how much do you agree with what your family/siblings/acquaintances think about abortion? This is, after all, the belief with which you were raised. I've read more than once that going against a strong core belief is never a good thing to do, so you might want to think carefully about what you do and don't believe. I don't know you from adam, and I sure don't want you to think I'm second guessing your decision, I just wanted to give you some food for thought.
As for your guy, he might or might not straighten up. He's pretty young to have something like this just come up, and this first reaction might just be panic. It might be immaturity, and some of them never outgrow that. He might come around. And he might not. I will advise you not to end your pregnancy because of his reaction. If this is something you think you might want to do, you can do it with or without this dude. Women who felt pressured into an abortion by their spouse/boyfriend/parents sometimes end up having a lot of issues with it later on.
Quote:I am scared, I do want to have children in the future. Is there anyone on here who have had an abortion and was still able to have children?
I think there are at least two women on here who had an abortion and later had children. IRL, I know three women who had abortions and went on to have children later. One of these women had the abortion in her teens and went onto have children in her mid-thirties. Another of these women had the abortion in her mid-twenties and went on to have children in her late twenties. The third woman aborted three pregnancies from the time she was 19-27, and went on to have a baby when she was about 30. Online, I know at least one woman who had an abortion and later went on to have children. However, I've read different things that say abortion can cause sterility. I'm no medical expert, so I just don't know. I did a little research online, but was unsure about the sources I found. What I did was run a google search on abortion + infertility. After that, I ran one with abortion + sterility + JAMA, which is the Journal of American Medicine. That produced a little more documented information. The best advice I can give you is to read read read and study the documentation on the information you find. Anyone putting forth information, either pro-life or pro-choice, can be equally guilty of putting their own spin on information, so it's good to be very discerning about what you choose to believe. That's the best I can tell you.
You say that you do want to have children in the future. While I understand not feeling mentally, emotionally, or financially prepared to have a baby now, I have to ask what the guarantee is that your life will be different (in a positive way) 3, 6, or even 9 years down the road? I'm not saying that you won't have this this abortion and still meet Mr. Right in three years and have three wonderful children, the white picket fence, and the works. I'm just not saying that you will either. Things might feel no different at 33, 36, and 39. Another consideration is that fertility begins to naturally decrease when you hit 30 with or without abortion. I'm totally not saying that you won't be able to have children in a few years, but considering that you do want children at some point, I guess I'd like to ask how important that desire is to you? I had a friend back home who found herself pregnant at 35 or 36. Though she had just never gotten around to having children, I guess she saw her window of opportunity closing and decided to keep that pregnancy. She ended up miscarrying, but decided to try and again and had a little boy a year or so later. I guess what I'm trying to point out is that as women, we have a limited amount of time to reproduce period, and that doesn't take into consideration stuff like PID caused from STDs or the results of sterility caused for some reason by an abortion. Not that I'm telling you that you shouldn't have an abortion. I'm just giving you some stuff to think about.
I can speak personally and tell you that I thought I would have children at some nebulous point in the future when I had an abortion at 19. However, understand that I didn't want children, and I never have. I just thought that that's what adults did. So when I read all the stuff about the possiblity of sterility after an abortion (especially one as late as mine), I didn't really think much about what I was reading because, deep down, I didn't care. I've been ultra careful about my birth control in the past 12 years, and I've never become pregnant again. I can't say if that's just due to my vigilence or if it's due to the fact that I'm sterile. It works for me either way because I do not want children; however, if I did want children, I can't imagine how I'd feel.
The bottom line is to make the best decision *for you*, and if abortion is it, we are here to offer advice, support, and information.
P.S. If you do decide to read my story, please note that I really do not recommend having an abortion as late as I did. A lot of my negative feelings about the whole circumstance were directly related to the fact that I didn't take care of it within the first trimester.
I don't think any woman is ever really ready to be a mom. There is also no magic formula that equals a perfect family. A family with 2 parents can be just as disfunctional (if not more so) than one with only one parent. I know mine was! LOL
I did have an abortion and was blessed with children after it. However, that is not to say that I didn't have issues. It can be very hard to bond with subsequent babies because you will know in your heart that you rejected your first baby. If you have always believed abortion to be the taking of human life, then what makes you think you will be ok with it now, merely because you are the one in the situation? I was brought up knowing abortion was wrong and did it anyway because i felt desperate, like there was no way out. Of course there was, but I chose to overlook them at the time. Maybe it was panic, maybe it was selfishness...God only knows. Anyway, what i mean is that if you compromise now in your moment of trouble it can come back to bite you. As for keeping abortion a secret, again this is big trouble! You need support no matter what your final decision is. If you have to lie to cover it up, you are only compounding your emotional issues... I did this also, carried guilt, shame, sadness and anger with me for almost 2 years before finally breaking down... It wasn't pretty. I also found out that had I been honest with my family, they would have gladly welcomed a grandchild and supported my efforts to be a mom. Talk about salt in an open wound...It had all been for nothing! The physical pain from the abortion, the emotional torture of bearing secrets and guilt, the loss of a baby... I urge you to reconsider ONLY because it seems as if you might be making a knee jerk reaction based on what you assume other people are doing or saying (i.e. family, bf) Or maybe what they are not doing...
I am a personal believer in open adoption if you are unable to raise a baby at this time in your life. I know most women don't want to imagine carrying a child to term only to entrust them into someone else's care, but it is the most liberating experince. I placed my 2nd son Daniel for adoption and let me tell you it was a learning time for me. I learned that I had to love the child more than myself, to put his needs before my own and give him not only the gift of life, but the gift of a family. I didn't "give up" my baby like an unwanted puppy at the pound, I gave him more! I gave him a loving family. If you are at all interested in this option, check out www.openarms.homestead.com for my whole story. or email me. Good luck in the future, hope some of my ramblings helped...sorry so long! luv, Christine
Hiya hon...((((hugs)))) This is so much to go through - I wish you didn't have to be here, but I'm glad you are. :wink
I'll give a big "ditto" to everything the previous posters have said. But, to reiterate, take some time to be sure this is really really really what you want to do, okay? Being raised to believe that abortion is wrong and holding those values inside of you can make it tremendously difficult to get through the emotions after an abortion. Like Christine said, there's often a knee-jerk reaction, but after the abortion is over you will most likely go back to viewing abortion as you always have, and that's where the difficulty will come in.
Also, I know you never wanted to raise a child alone, and you may or may not have to...lots of times things change during a pregnancy. But if you do, having one is nothing like having twins or having 8. Having one is very manageable. And not wanting to single parent before you find you are pregnant is a different ball game than wanting an abortion. Does that make sense?
Keeping it secret from loved ones can be hard on you...especially when coupled with the emotions you may have anyway. Is there anyone you can share this with in real life?
In regards to your questions about fertility, most women are fine after an abortion. What procedure do you want to have? You are 30 years old, so like runningchick said, your fertility will start to decline naturally soon...but that won't be due to an abortion. Infertility from abortion has to do with scarring that takes place in the uterus...and there sometimes can be a loose cervix from having the tools inserted and taken out, inserted and taken out. You can read about the risks to health and fertility more at Abortion Procedures
In any case, we're here for you hon. I just see a lot of "red flags" in your post, and want to be sure you're doing what is best for you. That's our main concern here. :biggrin Please do come back and update us all, okay?
Hi there. Please talk to your siblings before you do anything. Especially please talk to your sister. --I'm assuming you must have at least one out of those eight. :-)
Hi Everyone:
Well, it’s almost been a week and I am just now feeling comfortable sharing my experience. I will say this, I will NEVER (if I can help it) go through with another abortion again.
December 14, 2004
I was anxious, tired and starting to feel the symptoms of my pregnancy. I started having second thoughts, but I fought them off. I worked late to get things off of my mind, but I was 95% sure that I wanted to go through with this. To me this felt like a ball and chain weighing me down. I finally told my sister (the one with twins) and she cried on the phone and begged me not to go through with it. My ex-boyfriend brought the money over for the abortion. We talked some more about what the procedure was and how I would probably feel afterwards. He looked really sad and stated that if he was stable; he would help me with the baby, that is, if I really wanted it.
December 15, 2005
I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and I could have sworn that I felt fluttering in my abdomen (maybe it’s my imagination). I rub my lower stomach and tell my baby good-bye and I fight off crying. I prayed for a very long time to God and asked him to forgive me for what I’m about to do. I feel a little stronger about my decision and I know that I’m doing what’s best for this child (it’s in heaven now). I take my shower, get dressed and called my good friend to make sure she’s on her way.
Once we’re at the clinic, there’s a ton of women and their friends or significant others there in the same predicament as I am. There are a few women crying silently as they fill out the paperwork. One lady refuses to talk to her boyfriend/husband/whatever while she fills out her paperwork. As I fill out my stack of paper, I find out that my insurance from my job is covering the procedure 100% (go figure). So I debate on whether I give the money back to my ex. Once I go through the registration procedure, I am asked to go downstairs and prepare to take a blood test and other tests. There are even more women downstairs; they’re crying, looking sad or commenting on how this is their second or third time at Planned Parenthood (I’m in shock as I listen to this conversation). I take the Rh factor exam and find out that my baby is six weeks old. I look at the screen but refuse to keep a picture. I then go back outside and I text my friend and ask her to come downstairs to keep me company. She comes downstairs and we crack a few jokes or talk about life in general. At this time she admits to me that she had an abortion at 17 years old. I’m shocked, because my friend is religious about being on birth control and she admits that an abortion is something you never forget.
I am then referred to the counselor who talks to me about how I feel. I want to ask her, how does she feel, talking to so many women who makes the decision to have an abortion. I’m feeling GRRRREEAAT (so I think), because I want to get this over with. I’m actually making jokes and we discuss birth control, I opt for the pill, but I’m skeptical, because this is my first time taking full responsibility for preventing an unwanted pregnancy.
My name is called again and I’m asked to place a pad in my underwear and lie still and wait for the anesthesiologist and doctor. The anesthesiologists comes in and inserts the IV and as he talks to me, the room starts to spin, the doctor comes and the abortion is over in ten minutes. I don’t remember anything, other than the cramping and pain that I feel afterwards. I don’t even remember putting my underwear on. I’m asked to sit in a wheelchair and I’m wheeled into the recovery room where I’m still feeling dazed and in shock. I can barely lift my head, I feel the sharp pain, but nothing has hit me emotionally, yet. I’m so hungry and cold at the same time. I take 45 minutes to recover and I go out side with friend and I smoke a cigarette. We have to walk about three blocks to get to the car and I pop a piece of gum in my mouth. By the time we get on the expressway, I’m so nauseated I can’t even lift my head up. I just lie there with my eyes closed listening to the cars go by. When I get home, all of my friends call to see how I’m doing. I’m still a little woozy, but I’m okay, I pray again and I talk to my ex, before I go to sleep. I do let him know that we can NEVER get back together and that he can NEVER call me again.
December 16, 2004
I wake up at 5:30 to prepare for work. I’m tired, but I’m feeling really weird emotionally. It’s finally a reality that I killed my child, my flesh and blood. I tell my close co-worker (who had an abortion as well) and she told me that I made the decision and I should just pray. To make a long story short, I cried every time I thought about it and especially when I talked to my mom about my nieces and nephew’s Christmas gift. This is a niece or nephew that my siblings will never see, a grandchild that my parents will never know and a child that I will never see grow up.
December 20, 2004
As I get ready to post this, I’m at peace with myself, I think about what I’ve done for the past five days, but I cannot let this bring me down. My friends and sister listen to me talk about my experience. I do know that if I ever get pregnant again, I will not have another abortion. It’s just too painful.
Hi there hon, awwww...you're experience brings tears to my eyes because you sound so sad about it. I know you said you are at peace now, and that is good. Please know that we're here whether you're feeling good or bad, and that any feeling you feel is perfectly normal and can be discussed here. I know as a Christian, something like this can bring another level of sadness to it. I'm a Christian too, and if you'd like to talk about that aspect I'm here for you. You can email me anytime by clicking on my name and hitting "Send email."
Big ((((((hugs))))))) to you dear. You're in my thoughts and prayers - come back and share as needed. Thank you for sharing your experience here.
We all live and learn sweetie, no judgement here. I personally share the emotional turmoil that you are feeling. If you want to talk, email me openarms_2@hotmail.com Sorry you had to experience all this pain. Remember though, your baby is feeling no pain, he or she is with God. If you look under post abortion support, there are some old posts from Rose and I that you might find helpful, a poem and and a dialogue between an aborted child and Jesus...I liked them. Love, Christine
I'd just like to thank everyone for responding and offering their support.
This hurts, but it's not an emotional pain that will cause me to lose my mind. Since December 15th, I have thought about what I've been through and sometimes I go emotionally and mentally numb. I honestly now believe that I could have dealt with being a single mom.
I'm now going through a phase of wanting to replace the baby I've aborted. Is this normal?
Please think of me over the holiday season, I'm going home (South) to visit my family; I hope I don't "lose it" in front of my parents :rolleyes
I wish happiness, peace and joy to everyone on this site.
Hiya hon, yes feeling like you want to replace the baby is normal. There's even a name for it...a replacement baby. After abortion, some women want to hurry and get pregnant again either to replace the baby that was aborted so that the sorrow will go away, or to "atone" for the baby (an atonement baby) that will let them pay for the abortion by bringing a child into the world anyway. The important thing to note is that neither of these things work, and you'd still be left with the original feelings, kwim?
It's also pretty normal to think about the "what-ifs" and realize that yes you probably could have made it. Even though it's normal, I know that doesn't make it any easier to go through. I can tell you though that feeling these feelings and expressing them here and elsewhere will allow you to start on the path to healing. This is highly variable for each woman - some don't need any help at all and others need a lot of help. Whatever you feel is normal, okay? We're here for you dear...and we'll never judge you.
((((Hugs))))) I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you go home to visit family. Hopefully your sister will be there so that you'll have someone to talk to if you need to. We'll be here...
I did have a replacement pregnancy after my abortion...not immediately after, but a couple of yrs later. I wasn't really ready then either...The feelings of wanting to replay the pregnancy are completely normal and even quite common. Like Rose said, it won't change the past. It sounds as if maybe visiting some family might be hard on you emotionally, I will definitely say a prayer for you. I have read a book that I think you would really enjoy. It is called "TILLY"by Frank Peretti and can be found at a library or a christian bookstore. It really helped me come to grips with my emotions after my abortion. Love, Christine
I've read that wanting a "replacement baby" is a normal emotion after an abortion and have known women who felt the way you are describing feeling. The best advice I can offer is to remember that the past is static. You cannot change it. It took me a long long time to get to the point that I realized that I couldn't change the past no matter how much I wished that I could. I got to the point where I realized that while I'm not happy that I'm a woman who had an abortion, I'm happy with the way my life has turned out. I realized that the whole experience made me who I am today, and that even though I lost something of myself (innocence perhaps), I gained the knowledge of how strong I am and the knowledge that I can get past any badness in my life.
(((hugs)))
I hope your visit with your family went well.
((((Hugs)))) It sounds like you are really hurting. I cannot imagine how you feel. My choice was to parent (also an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy). I have never had to grieve the loss of my child. Please make sure you give yourself permission to cry and mourn. You lost someone special.
No baby will ever replace the one you lost. We are each unique- just as no one could ever replace you:smile
How was the visit to your folks house? Do you have any close friends you can talk with?
You always have us.:wink
Hi. I'm new, but just dropping by. I found this board from a post from another board. I hope I don't get kicked off here for asking a question completely in earnest.
I am wondering why tryingtosmile hadn't mentioned the idea of adoption as a *possible,* but not the only solution. I'm not judging, just wondering as we are looking to adopt.
Neither one of us are in each other's shoes, I realize this, which is precisely why I am curious.
Hi Curls Galore - nice to meet you and I hope to get to know you better. :biggrin
Tryingtosmile no doubt agonized over this decision and most likely did consider adoption. Many, many women decide not to place their children for adoption because of the emotions involved in carrying the baby, giving birth, and then saying goodbye. These women feel that the emotions of saying goodbye early on are easier. Some find that they are right and some find that they are wrong - each woman has a different response to abortion and adoption.
I understand that you are eager to adopt, and you are welcome here provided that you follow the rules and not try to push women into adoption. If you can honestly say that you can support a woman through any decision (although you may not support her decision), you are welcome here hon. If you would like to discuss why women choose abortion instead of adoption, why don't you email myself or Lahela to discuss it, okay? We want this thread to stay supportive for Tryingtosmile, and since she has already had the abortion, asking her why she did not go a different route could inflict pain right now. Please be mindful of this, okay? You haven't really broken any rules by posting this, but you may want to read the Board Rules and Dealing with the Issue of Abortion to make yourself familiar with what is expected here. :wink
HTH! And take care hon! Best wishes to you as you try to adopt a child!
Hello again everyone!
My visit down south was really nice; I enjoyed the time with my family and friends (I did burst into tears in front of my sister and she was very consoling). Just to let everyone know, my ex and I do not talk to each other period, I feel like I will forever be connected to this man, but I don't want to!
To Curls Galore, I did consider adoption, but I couldn't fathom the thought of carrying a child full-term and then giving it up.
Thanks again to everyone for your support and kind words during my time of tribulation. I appreciate this so much, because this site allows me to vent and bare my soul without feeling like I'm getting on someones nerves or talking about my experience too much. I think that I will forever need to talk about this, but I haven't considered counseling just yet.
I love you guys!!!
I was going to send you a personal msg but you don't have an ez inbox set up...anyway I just wanted to remind you that you and I have lots in common regarding our abortions. If you ever want to vent, cry, share or whatever, please don't hesitate to email me! openarms_2@hotmail.com God bless you!
I just wanted to tell you to talk all you want to. That's what this place is for.
I'm glad your visit went well and that you were able to open up to your sister. It helps so much to be able to tell someone and have their support.
Quote:I appreciate this so much, because this site allows me to vent and bare my soul without feeling like I'm getting on someones nerves or talking about my experience too much.
You'll never get on anyone's nerves here, okay? Never never never. I encourage you to talk as much as you want to or need to about your abortion, and don't feel you need to hold back. You won't shock anyone, and any reaction is normal and will be accepted.
If you ever need to talk one-on-one you can also email me at choicetolivewith@comcast.net. I'm not a counselor, but I do email with several post-abortive women and offer some online help and support.
((((Hugs)))) to you hon...hang in there! :biggrin
Hi,
I understand your concern. I had the very similar situation back 10 years ago. When I got pregnant I was still single. It would definitely bring a great shame to my parents. I didn’t tell them. And at moment, I just realized the man isn’t going to be my husband. So I chose abortion. Since I found out my pregnancy early enough (within 45 days), I was able to use abortion drug. It was a drug for 3 days only. The first 2 days, I didn’t feel anything different. The third day, as doctor instructed, I went to hospital and stayed in the observing room. I waited until I started to have a cramp, then I went to the washroom to let it out. It was completely unrecognizable, something more or less like a raw egg, or a little black pea. After I showed it to the doctor, he confirmed I had completely aborted the fetus. The next 2 weeks I did take some other drugs to reduce the bleeding.
Actually I had more than one abortion. All of them by taking abortion drugs. It wasn’t painful. I am 35 this year. People who doesn’t know me, thinks that I am only a young college student.
I am very happy I made that rational choice since I could never handle to be a single mother. And now I have a wonderful husband who spoils me. I did tell my husband about my abortion, he doesn’t mind at all. And my parent who had no idea about this, still consider me as always being a good girl. Everybody is happy. It was a good choice.
Yes, you will be able to have babies later on when you are ready. My sister also had abortion, but she was in very different situation from me. She went for traditional abortion (not the drug type). Not very long after her abortion she was able to give birth to a baby girl. Now the baby girl has developed into a healthy, pretty teen now. She’s a very smart, doing well in school. I am very fond of her.
Sam,
Welcome to the board! Tryingtosmile already has made her decision and had her abortion some time ago, although she's now seeking post-abortion support. Evenso, you're welcome to post your story in the forum How Has Abortion Touched You?, where women can post their stories and women still deciding can read about other's experiences. You are more than welcome to stay here and make yourself comfortable.
Tryingtosmile,
We haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing, hon? Like another member said, you're always welcome to vent your feelings here. Please do give us an update.
I've just been really busy!
Well, it's almost been three months since I've had my abortion and I'm functioning quite alright. I'm not going to lie, I still think about things such as "I would have been four months now" or "I wonder if it would have been a girl or a boy", but nothing drastic.
I've also been going to the gym lately; I was eating like a pig during the short time that I was pregnant and now, I'm trying to get back into shape and do some positive things in my community (volunteering and working with at-risk youth). I'm dating a wonderful guy who I backed away from when I first found out I was pregnant, but I'm taking things sssllllllooooowwwwww.
I don't know if I'd sound heartless if I say this, but I almost don't regret my decision. I wasn't in a good situation to bring a child into this world, but I have definitely learned my lesson. I was discussing pregnancy with a very close friend of mine, who had an abortion about 16 years ago, but just found out that she has issues with her reproductive organs. That scared me a little bit, but I just pray.
The guy that I was pregnant by is now, surprisingly affected by the fact that I actually had the abortion (bear in mind, I did this for me and NOT him). We talk about it from time to time and he is a little sad. I explained to him that he has to move on past this and maybe one day when he's a little older (I'm 31 and he's 23) he'll be a great father.
Well, I hope that everyone on here is doing great. I will check back in from time to time to drop a note to say "hi"!
Peace, Love and Pineapples
Great to hear back from you! No - I don't think you're heartless to not feel regret. That can be a normal experience after abortion, especially so soon after. Anything you feel is normal.
It sounds like you're doing some important things for yourself, and that's great! Do keep coming back, and I hope that things continue to go well for you hon. ((((Hugs)))))
Tryingtosmile,
I understand and appreciate your taking time to write us. It sounds like you've got some good things going for yourself. Many women experience a range of emotions after their abortion, anything you feel is normal. Although your right about moving on, I do encourage you to be sensitive to your partner's feelings of sadness as well. Many men experience a range of emotions after their partner's abortion. This is does not dimish your decision in any way. But rather, a large life changing decision, such an abortion impacts all those involved or close to the woman, including your partner. If he has difficulty moving past the sadness or becomes depressed, there is post-abortion counseling available for men. I'm glad things are going well for you. Please come back and give us updates when you can.
Thanks for coming back to update us! It sounds like you are doing really well. Have you considered sharing your story on the guestbook? It really is helpful to other women who are looking for feedback. I am so happy that you are moving on and looking out for you. Please be patient with your previous bf. He probably feels a bit of grief for what could have been and perhaps even helplessness because after all it is the woman who has the ultimate say over her own body. It empowers us but leaves the men out in the cold so to speak...I agree with the PP about the post abortive counseling for him...I bet Rose could give you a list of resources for him or he could check out the link here on CTLW under post abortive resources. Good luck in the future and keep us posted! luv, Christine
Sure, if you'd like to tell me where he lives (city, state, and nearby cities), I can find some post-abortion help for him. :biggrin Just let me know, okay? ((((hugs)))))
Just when it seems like things were getting better for me. Another tragedy strikes....
I just want everyone to pray for my family as we struggle with the tragic death of my brother, who died Friady, March 18th at 3:23 p.m. He was stabbed to death by a man who lived in his apartment complex. He left behind two children ages six and three, three brothers and four sisters. My whole family is devestated and my parents are at a loss.
I'm trying to cope with this, but this hurts sooooo bad!
Please keep us in your prayers.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You will most definitely be in my prayers. I don't know what else to say. This has to be so hard for you...God bless you sweetie.
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