A Mother is Born

This is a beautiful email I got a long time ago right after I had my DD. It makes me tear up every time I read it.

A Mother is Born (By Regina Phillips) My first child, a daughter, was born on July 27th, 2000, and I found I was completely unprepared. I thought I was ready for her birth. I had read my books and articles on childbirth and baby care, I had bought everything on my shopping checklist, the nursery was ready for use, and my husband and I were anxiously awaiting her arrival. I was prepared for wakeful nights, endless diapers, sore nipples, crying (bother hers and mine), and the feeling that I can’t get anything done. I was prepared for sitz baths and hemorrhoids. What I wasn’t prepared for was the way the entire world looked different to me the minute she was born. I wasn’t prepared for the fact that the sheer weight of my love for her would reduce me to tears on a daily basis. I didn’t know that I wouldn’t be able to get through my first lullaby to her because I wouldn’t be able to sing through my tears. I didn’t know that it would seem like a new place had been created inside of me, just to hold this incredible love. I had no idea what it would feel like when the nurse wheeled my daughter in to me saying, “She’s looking for you” and the way the image of her deep blue eyes looking right at me would be seared in my heart forever. I didn’t know that I could love someone so much it literally hurts, that a trip to Wal-Mart would make me feel like a protective mother bear guarding her cub or that my first trip to the grocery store without her would break my heart. I didn’t know that she would forever change the way my husband and I look at each other, or that the process of giving birth to her and breastfeeding her would give me a whole new respect for my body. No one told me that I would no longer be able to watch the evening news because every story about child abuse would make me think of my daughter’s face. Why didn’t anyone warn me about these things? I am overwhelmed by it all. Will I ever be able to leave her and think of anything but her, or see a crust in her eye or spot on her skin that doesn’t make me nervous? Will I ever be able to show her and express to her just how deep and all-encompassing my love for her is? Will I ever be able to be the mother I so desperately want her to have? I have heard it said, and I now know that it is true, that when a woman gives birth to her first child, there are two births. The first is the birth of the child. The second is the birth of the mother. Perhaps that is the birth that is impossible to prepare for.

My son is here!!!

I had my son on Dec 26 at 11:07 pm. He was 8lbs 3oz and 20 1/2 in. My water had broke on Christmas day but it didnt come out in a gush it just trickled every once in a while so i didnt know thats what it was . Went to the doc the next day and he told me it was indeed my water. So i went to L&D and they gave me pitocin and an epidural within minutes of each other. I felt almost no pain until near the end when i began to feel the urge to push. He came in just a couple of pushes!! I had some complications afterwards with my placenta and hemmoragged but they got it under control before they needed to transfuse or operate. It was scary for a few minutes but im recovering well.

I wanted to tell everyone here thank you for helping me come to this decision. When i look at him i cant believe i ever questioned having him. Everyone here helped me get through a very difficult time in my life!! My husband cut the cord and has came around completely. He is absolutely in love with him. We have had some rough times over the past few months but are trying hard to make our marriage work and i think we love each other more now than ever.

We named the baby Zain Ahmed Ali, he has black hair,big fat jaws,a double chin, and wrinkled neck LOL..he rarely opens his eyes so i realy cant get a good look at them. Breastfeeding is going well and so far the only problem im having is trying to change his diapers without him peeing in his face..those boy parts sure work different than the girl parts LOL

once again thanks everyone

- syndi

a long overdue update

Hi everyone,

So excited for the new moms out there! Just wanted to let you all know(remember me from the abortion posts a couple months back?) that my pregnancy's going great-16 weeks already! Things are still rocky with the BF, but he's at least very committed to be an involved dad, so that's the main thing. I've got an ultrasound coming up just before Christmas...still trying to decide if we're going to find out gender (he wants to, I'm not really sure, kinda like the idea of being surprised). Anyone feel it's better one way or another? We'd both be happy either way....also, is it ok that I haven't really gained any weight yet? I'm pretty small to begin with, but my doc doesn't seem to think it's a big deal, as long as I'm eating healthy and start to gain from here on in. Sure that won't be a problem with the holidays around the corner

- alana

37 and not so scared!!!

Well here it is! my first post on the pregnancy forum Things have been going well so far. No symptoms really at all other than a sore chest and the occasional cramp here and there. Which has me worried as my mother has told me that morning sickness means you have a healthy baby. This is my newest worry now you see, that i will have an unhealthy baby. Dont fret, ill worry about everything the whole way thru, this is my nature! According to the pregnancy calendar im in my 8th week now. I cant figure that out as i concieved 6 weeks ago, im so lost on all of this! lol
Oh and i had a big breakthru with the father this weekend. Long story short, we went camping this wknd, i was asleep and he met the neighbors who were 2 couples with kids. Had a few beers with the guys and asked them about being fathers, he also told them he felt like his life was over (i was listening in lol) They laughed at him and told him fatherhood was the best experience of their lives and that he will be so happy. He responded that he was so relieved to hear it. Then he came back over, and talked to me about it. Said he realized it was a gift from God to us, and that we should be happy about it together. I didnt push the issue further, but im glad he's coming around. He's very loving to me and other than not talking about it, he's been there for me emotionally. And i havent pushed him at all about it... so, i think were moving in a positive direction.

So all in all, so far so good. Just hope the baby is healthy! when can i find out about dna tests and other things to make sure the baby is ok? id like to know early on if possible! thanks all! hugs!! Sue

****eric and becki update***

hey everyone, sorry i have not posted in awhile. well since my last post a lot has happened. I did get a job as a manger at the new harold ziegler lot in grandville! i start that next monday, so that's exciting. Becki and I are also engaged. I proposed two fridays ago, July 21st! the baby had nothing to do with it, that was the day i was planning on the entire time, i decided to not let the baby effect anything. so right now, im starting a new job, planning a wedding, and planning for a child! crazy life! anyway, thanks again to everyone, we have an ultrasound coming up when we will find out the sex of the baby, i will update you!

oh and btw, our slated wedding date is aug. 11th 07 if we can afford it, haha, anyone that knows any cheap places for reception, catering etc... let us know, hahaha

-jdmfastdc2

Can't believe I've made it this far!

Hey everyone!

Well I've made it to the pregnancy board!! It took some effort to move from "still deciding", let me tell you! I'm still feeling good about my decision, especially now that I don't have any more morning sickness, and I can feel it moving about and stuff (what a weird feeling!!).

I'm trying to really look after myself - I keep hearing about the 'right' and 'wrong' things to eat when your pregnant and I try to stick to it, but it seems so strict, and one thing in particular is really hard for me - I'm a vegetarian and therefore eat lots of nuts and pulses etc. A friend recently told me off for eating nuts because she said pregnant women were not supposed to eat nuts in case the baby has a nut allergy??!!! Is this true? My doctor never mentioned anything to me about not eating any nuts!

I'm also doing lots of swimming for exercise - I hate the fact that my clothes don't fit - so I've got to make sure I get back into them in a few months!!

Anyway, thanks for reading my posts

Maddie

Original post: http://choicetolivewith.blogspot.com/2006/01/im-in-mess.html

Hello Dear Friends

Life is happening. I am getting more pregnant each and every day. I had my 2nd Dr.s Appt last week and well the baby has a very strong heartbeat. I am going into my 16th week and will have an utlrasound and hopefully find out the gender Mid May. I am trying hard to rise my spirits. The father hasn't given up on abortion. I have avoided him and he went out on his own and found out I can have a 2nd term abortion in MD. So he sent me this letter below today but my answer is still going to be NO. Actually NO WAY IN HELL!!!! I'm trying ladies, some days it's really hard. I just want to hide and cry all day long. I'm healthy though gained 8lbs so far on my 5'0 100 lb self and feel huge!!!! LOL My clothes are getting tight. People are commenting on how big my boobs are getting. Hugs from Val & the pugs.

Well here is the latest letter he emailed me today. It's scarey where his head is. It also makes me very sad.
Val, I'm writing the email in a last attempt to reverse a problem that we are both suffering. The pproblem is an unplanned pregancy. I've pleaded with you for about a month to have an abortion. You have however remained steadfast in your opposition. We both have valid reasons for support and both have been deeply considered. I have pressured you from my heart because I have look clearly into the future. It remains that I don't want to be 61 and have a freshman in high school. I'm too old for this nor do I want it. I don't want to be a father. The question is, have you really considered sitting home 7 nights a week caring for a baby. I would assumed that you have.I know over the last month my words have been mean and ugly, but they are real. I'm sorry for that but as a friend I would have pointed them out to you as well. My words at this point are only poison in your eyes.this is why I will leave you alone to decide what you can and will do. I know what I ask is indeed a monumental task and something not to take lightly. I do respect your consideration of my request. I also know your feelings as well and respect them as well. Knowing all these facts does make it extremely difficult to keep pushing forward with my request. It is that important to me and I know you don't believe me but important to both. Val, it's not too late despite whom or not you have told to change your mind. don't feel backed in. Our peers might even be amazed as to what a great sacrifice you made for someone else, some one that you do care a great deal for. Val, if you have not yet lumped me into the catagory of all men in your life. You might still realize that I am not trying to hurt you. You might still remember that we did put our trust in one another, not to hurt but to help each other. I'm asking for your help now and to try and trust me once more. Don't use me to settle the score for the other men in your life. I'm not saying you doing that purposely, I'm saying I'm not those other men. I know you hate me for this aweful thing I ask but keep yor mind open. These conditions are not fair to you or me and a child. Can it work, I'm sure it can, but is it fair, no. Is it fair to be tied to me because of an unplanned pregancy. Is it good to be tied together the rest of our lives just to make decisions for the well being of this child.That not want we want and you do know it.I know you think my feelings are all about me. Nothing I can say will probably change the way you feel there. They're not of course, but only you will judge that. My feeling are for the concern of all three of us and I can only wish you understood that.Val, I'm asking you to try and stop thinking about the proceedure and think beyond that. Give us a chance to make our lives better again. I will now send this email to you and shut my computer off until Friday at 4:15pm and look for your response. If you do somehow change your mind and you do schedule an appointment let me know so I can make arrangements on my end. If you don't there is no reason to explain just say no. Val keep in mind that I am mindful of how tremendous this decision is and how many different ways there are to look at. I don't envey you in this task. I do ask you for your help and trust. I say I will shut down my computer because I really don't think I can help you think clearly. I feel the hatred for my words as you read. Please do this for me and in the long run for us both. Br.

-val819

Surprise!

I'm pregnant!

I know it's early to mention (I'm between 5 and 6 weeks), but I can't keep my mouth shut. We're excited, but I'm still nervous. I could use your prayers. My last pregnancy was a nightmare, and it'd be great if this one was smooth. So far it's much better - no morning sickness or fatigue. We'll see!

This was very unplanned and very very shocking. We wanted to wait another year since we're planning on moving, and we live in a 2-bedroom house with very little space for another child. I don't think we'll have room for a crib, but we co-slept with our DD anyway. Things will work out. God usually knows what He's doing with me.

So, this is fair warning that hormones will be raging. I'll post updates when I have them. May as well...it's my board after all...lol. You'll have to bear with me.

Hey Everyone!

Okay, it's a little scary posting in the "pregnancy" board!! So, I am trying so many rememdies to make myself feel better. I cant stand this feeling of sickness for so long. It sux. 1 woman told me that eating bananas (YUCK) helps, so i am going to try that today. Any other suggestions would be very helpful.

I am nervous right now because I haven't told my family yet and i don't really want to for a while. BUT just my luck, i am going to florida on the 20th and I will be a little over 12 weeks. I am already looking like a fatso now, and I am small to begin with, so I am going to show. I have to wear a bathing suit and I dont know what to do!! I hope I figure something out.

Anyways, talk to you all soon!

Love: Tiff

Original post: http://choicetolivewith.blogspot.com/2006/02/what-should-i-do-scared-and-lost.html

Still need your support guys:D

Yes i moved myself to the pregnancy board (oh it took effort i tell you!) so we shall continue things here.

One thing i am quite scared about is going to carols by candlelight on sunday. i have to go because i am the soloist for a number of songs, but i am very nervous about the crowds reaction. it is in my town so most of the people know me. i guess there's not much i can do but stand my ground. there's no way i can disguise the fact that i am pregnant...i'm as big as a house. people keep asking me if i'm going to have a xmas baby!!

i have a couple of names...i really like the name isaiah..it's really nice and strong and i also like joseph..or elijah..(lol bible names)or theodore and for the little baby girl my bf really likes Marie or Mia and i like them but i really like the names isabella or thea or gabriella...at the moment. it's really hard picking names! because you really want them to mean something and be different, but you also want them to be able to fit in! hard stuff!

i was so excited when i found out i was having a boy and a girl...(i was quite keen for two girls...but this is even better). how lucky!

erm...i've been cooking lots today, getting ready for xmas, it's going to be a big year cos i have to do my family, and then the bfs family...next years going to be even weirder.

well i am 23 weeks today i think it is....how scary.

let me know what you think of the names! everyone!!! honestly

lots of love, sarah

I Need Your Thoughts/Opinions

Hi everyone, my name is Kaitlin and I found out that I'm pregnant at the beginning of the month. I'm 17 and was raped at a party, resulting in this pregnancy. I've finally decided to tell my Mom (who has been absolutely WONDERFUL and SUPPORTIVE!!) and tonight I'm telling my Dad...and I'm so nervous!! But what I'm more nervous about is that I'm only 17!! How can I be having a baby?!?! I don't have anything against teenage pregnancies, but I didn't ask to be raped and I didn't ask for this pregnancy. Thankfully, I found this site and have had a bunch of wonderful people help me to see that this baby is a blessing and not a curse! I'm just...I'm just so worried! I work two jobs, play soccer and go to school full time...I don't want to quit school, but I'm going to have to start making a lot of money if I'm going to be able to have some money saved up for the essentials for this baby. I know that my parents are going to try to help me, but my older sister is at university and my Dad is pretty sick, so their financial status is pretty bad. I want this to all work out, but I'm so scared! I don't want to end up on welfare if I can help it, but I also want to finish school so that I can get a better job to support my baby and myself. I'm sorry for rambling on but there are so many thoughts swimming around in my head that I'm having a hard time thinking clearly. Any thoughts/feelings/suggestions are very welcome. Thank you so much for taking the time to read about my situation and for offering some feedback.

- Kaitlin2541

Evie's Birth Story

Let's see...I had a miserable pregnancy. Morning sickness, a bad infection, then preeclampsia that had me on bedrest for 10 weeks. I was induced at 38 weeks (thank goodness!). I was really ready to not be pregnant any more. I was dilated to 4 at like 36 weeks...so I thought I'd go on my own - but no luck.



So I got to the hospital early on the morning of December 10th. They broke my water. DH and a close friend were there. (She was my "coach" since I wasn't able to take those classes.) They stuck the monitor on the top of Evie's head (yeouch I'm sure!) and strapped me all up. I kind of just sat there not moving for the longest time - I was afraid that if I moved it would start to hurt. Well...this mean nurse made me get up and use the bathroom...big mistake...lol. Labor hit when I was on the toilet. I could barely make it back to the bed. (I must have a low pain tolerance.) It started to hurt really bad very fast. It wasn't long before I was dilated to 6 and having contractions every 3 minutes. I asked for the epidural around noon, and didn't get it until 1. I was not too happy about that. Then it took the anesthesiologist 4 tries sticking the needle in my spine before she could get it in...talk about torture.



Once it was in though, things were good again...lol. I took a nap til 3PM. And when I woke up I remember telling my friend that I felt a weird sensation in my butt. She went and got the nurse because she thought maybe the baby was coming. Sure enough, I was dilated to 10 and her head was descending. So they set me up to get ready to push.



I had such high hopes because I had heard that pushing was the easy part and that it felt good to be able to push and use your energy for something. Since I was starting to feel the contractions again, I was hoping that I'd be able to at least do okay pushing. Not so. Pushing sucked too...lol. Thankfully I had a great nurse by that time. I remember her standing down there making movements like a baseball catcher would...moving back and forth on her feet...twitching her head from side to side. My blood pressure (because of the preeclampsia) shot up to like 200/120, so she took a whole bottle of Vaseline and lubed me up and with another 2 pushes Evie flew out before the doctor could get in there. I remember her saying oh shoot...she's coming and running to the door and my friend saying "What the he** did she leave for? What are we supposed to do?" LOL The nurse ran back just in time to catch Evie, then the doctor got there and suctioned her out.



Gosh that first cry...that's a sound I'll never forget and it still gives me chills. They laid her on my belly still gooey...just like I wanted. She looked up at me like "What in the heck just happened?" But she didn't cry any more past that first scream. Just looked at me very quietly. Then they cleaned her up. They were all amazed because she stayed up for over 4 hours after being born just looking around quietly...taking it all in...being held by everyone that came to visit. She roomed in with me and we practiced breastfeeding...it was an awesome time and I didn't miss the sleep at all. I loved having her there. It was such an amazing thing to know this whole new person came out of me and now I was responsible for her. Still an amazing thing...lol. She turned 2 this month. I can't believe that she's growing up so fast!



If you made it this far...you're a dear! (((Hugs)))

Love,

Rose