I know i havent posted on this site for along long time but for me it was just to hard, i know u'll understand.
i cant begin to describe what i've been thru this last year and im not sure its getting any easier.To top it all i ended up breaking up with my then bf. For so long i was a wreck after so mb i am doing better. Im still at university in my 3rd year tho xams didnt go so well with all the stress.
On the 16th february, it will be 1yr since i went thru with it, i miss her everyday and wud give anything to go back and do it again though i know thats not poss n it hurts so much. Anyway i could just use some support over the next couple of weeks as i know they are gonna b hard esp with my workload rite now too. I have a couple of friends i can go to about this but ultimately they just dont understand...
-marisa
Friday, February 2, 2007
Almost 1yr since
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13 comments:
Hi Marisa,
It's nice to see you again, although I'm sorry it's under these circumstances. Big ((((hugs)))) for you as you approach your anniversary date. We are definitely here for you. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind right now, and I'm sure your brain is telling you to work on your school work first and foremost even though your heart is breaking. It might help to set aside your thoughts about the abortion while you're working on school stuff by telling yourself "I'm not going to think about that right now." Then later on in the day or whatever, set aside about 20 minutes just to think those thoughts through, journal, etc. That way your thoughs aren't too overwhelming and scattered.
Please vent as much as you need to here hon. ((((Hugs)))) You'll be in my prayers.
I Agree with Rose....I know it's probably hard to not think about it and it's certainly not good to just push it in the back of your mind and not deal with it, but maybe it would help to set aside a certain amount of time every day where you can reflect on your feelings (as Rose suggested, journaling, going over your feelings, etc.). Maybe you'll find that the rest of the day you're not thinking about it so much because you know you'll have your special "reflection" time later in the day. As time goes on, you may find you don't need to take that time every day.
The healing process can take a long time and can be a very hard road to follow, but things will get better. Everyone is on their own timetable so it's hard to say how long you'll feel like this, but don't be too hard on yourself over a decision you made in the past. All you can do now is move forward, make the right decisions in the future, and take all the time you need to work through this experience.
Best of luck and vent all you want!
i think that is good advice n i am following that n tryin hard to get on with my life while not forgetting.the anniversary will be hard but im thinkin of getin a tattoo with the name i chose on in remembrance (isabella).
A tatoo is a really sweet idea. I had thought of doing that as well but I am afraid of needles. I wrote a letter to my baby instead. Wink
Isabella is a very pretty name. Will you post again soon and let us know how you are doing hon? *****Hugs*****
hi so far i am doing ok, not thinking about friday yet and just keepin busy. with today bein valentines iam missing my ex even after all he put me thru. i'll post again later with an update, ive got to go to work soon.
Thanx
so, a year ago today i killed my baby and was at this time of day back at the halls of residence in total shock.just wishing i could change my mind, feeling so uttely empty... Shocked
i can remember every second just like it was yesterday, how i was laid there for over an hour waiting, watching other girls leave n come back without their babies knowing what had happened to them n what was going to happen to me...knowing with every fibre of my being that i didnt want this...feeling like i wanted to scream that they cant take her, praying soo hard that gareth would change his mind n say that he couldnt go thru with it, that he couldnt put me thru this after all....but he didnt n wen i went out to see if he was there (3times) he wasnt there as he'd left to get somthing, god, ive NEVER felt so alone, so heart broken n sad....n then when it was time to go i had to focus just put one foot in front of the other and he was back as i walked past but i couldnt stop n talk to him....y didnt i say anything? y didnt i tel them wot i felt? i have noone to blame but myself...n i remember the aneathetist jokin with me before i went under Neutral n wen i came round i was surprised that i felt (physically) fine, but there was a girl opposite being sick. n then i had to wait around ages before they'd let me go.... i just wish id had the strength to speak out n then maybe i wouldnt be were i am now
oh n he forgot, he's just got on with his life n left me to deal with this on my own, i dont know y i expected more from him really
im gonna go now, sorry its such a long post.thanx for all your support
(((hugs)))) sweetie. That was such a sad story. I wish you had more support when you really needed it. Abortion is a hard enough decision when you have support and its what you feel is right...When you feel coerced into it, then it is even worse. Venting is good. You have to allow yourself to go through the whole grieving process, even though it sux. We are here for you hon. Luv, Christine
(((Hugs)))) Thank you for sharing how you felt that day. I am just so sorry that you had to go through that hon. Words can't express what I'd like to say. You must've felt very alone and hopeless.
My prayer for you is that things begin to change for you and that you might not feel so defeated next year. I know you'll always carry around this loss, but I just hope that you are able to find peace with it and continue on. Are you seeking any post-abortion counseling or talking with anyone else about this?
Big ((((hugs))))) dear. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
apart from gettin thru this, wots more scary right now, is that i found a lump on my neck and gotta go get it checked out...i know its probably nothing, Pray but it could be something Shocked ... got so much on my mind i reckon i was going out and drinkin way to much, so im taking at least a week off with absolutely no alcohol, which as a student surrounded by it isnt always so easy, but i feel way better for it n think its gonna be good for me Smile
hugs
Will you let us know about the lump on your neck? It might just be your thyroid gland is enlarged...so try not to concern yourself too much yet. (((Hugs))) I think it's an excellent idea to stop drinking for a week, and I'd challenge you to take it a step further and once you've made it a week, do another, and another. You'll only be glad you did it.
hey, i gt it checked out n she said it was just a swollen lymph node, howeva she wasnt exactly thorough n ages after its still there... neway im still around n check the site regularly tho im nt always sure that helps recovery, one girl mentioned a website with v.sick videos on i had nitemares for weeks, so somtimes i think stayin awat is best bt everyone here has given me the support i needed throughout everything.
Im seeing sumone new now, that could be serious, he gts me n he knows all the gd, bad n crazy n is still into me. n he listens n is supportiive n is well, pretty awesome
best wishes n love to eveyone that posts here xxxx
I'm glad you're seeing someone nice Marisa! It's okay to come and go on this board...and I'm sorry you saw some videos you didn't like. (((Hugs))) Those are hard to watch for anyone.
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