I'm Sarah Maryland and i'm only just 16 and i found out the other day that i am 6 weeks pregnant. What am i going to do?? i have so much ahead of me and i'm scared that a baby is going to ruin my life. I'm still with my boyfriend but we're on incredibly shaky ground at the moment. I think my mom would be supportive but i'm not sure. My sister (who is married) also jsut found out she's pregnant so i don't want her to feel like i'm stealing the lime light from her. I'm a Christian but i'm not sure if i can go through with this. Someone please help me!! Tell me about abortion the affect it might have, or a child!!
-Sarah
Sunday, August 21, 2005
I'm too young
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Hi Sarah - (((HUGS))). At this point I wouldn't worry about "stealing the limelight" from your sister. In fact, I wouldn't even say anything to her until you've decided what you're going to do. If you think your mom might be supportive, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her about it. Mom's can surprise you during times like this. I thought my mother would never speak to me again when I got pregnant, but she was great - taking me to the doctor, etc. You need someone there who can be supportive of you, and if she will be, that's great. It would be difficult to deal with something like this on your own.
What are your future plans? Are you still in school? Could you still do the things you want to do with a baby? Would you have help from the father or from your own family? You said you're a Christian - what are your beliefs about abortion? If that's not something you're comfortable with, have you considered adoption?
I guess my thoughts are just to kind of get a feeling of what you'd like to do. Then talk it over with your mom. We're here to help as much as we can, too, so please keep posting.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, hon.
Chris
Hi Sarah, nice to meet you! I'm sorry you're here under these conditions, but I hope that we can offer you the support you need right now. Your post leads me to believe that, if possible, you would like to parent. Is that right? Have you viewed the abortion information and abortion concerns on the website? They might help you get some info on abortion. What kinds of things would you like to know about abortion? Parenting?
I would definitely tell your mother...that's what moms should be for, and I'd want my daughter to tell me. Please don't even think about balancing this choice on your sister's pregnancy. Your pregnancy is just as important as hers. Wink
((((Hugs))))) I look forward to hearing more from you!
Hi Sarah,
I am so glad you found us a CTLW. I hope we can help you through this difficult time in your life. We are here for you and want to help you through this. We will try to answer any questions you may have.
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i have so much ahead of me and i'm scared that a baby is going to ruin my life.
Have you given any thought to adoption? There is a new "Adoption Information" link and when you click on that it will take you to Adoption terms and Adoption types. It is very important that you check out all your options before making a decision. I know this seems scary because you would still have to tell your parents and be pregnant along with your sister and right now it probably seems like this is something you just can't face.
But look down the road. Look ahead a few years or even less and what is it you will be able to best live with in the long run?
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I'm a Christian but i'm not sure if i can go through with this.
I am a Christian too. When we have God in our lives, we don't go through anything alone. He is always with us. (Hebrews 13:5b) He doesn't promise us life in this world will be easy, (John 16:33) but he does promise to be with us and help us through the tough times because He cares for us.(1Peter 3:7)
Let us know how you are doing and let us help you with any ?'s you may have.
We are here for you
Ruth
Thank you all so much for your kinda replies. I told my boyfriend, he pretty much said have an abortion or get out of my life. And i love him, but i don't know if i caould have an abortion jsut because he wants me to.
I didn't really even want to sleep with my boyfriend-it was one of those "sleep with me or i'll break up with you" moment, only more subtle. i didn't want to have sex until i was married and now look where i am.
I pretty much know that emotionally and spiritually i couldn't go through an abortion.
adoption.....that would take a lot of thought. and strength.
i really don't know about telling my mom. I know i have to at some point, but i have no idea how to put it and how she will react!
Hi Sarah...I found a website you might be interested...I think you live in Australia, right? http://www.youngaussiemums.8m.com/index.html They've got a message board there that you might be able to relate to. Smile
Your relationship with your boyfriend really doesn't sound very healthy...sleep with me or I'll break up with you? You deserve to be loved hon, and I don't know if this guy is respecting you by telling you what to do like he has been.
I'm sure you have an idea of how your mother will react. Think for a minute. Let's just say you came out and told her, "Mom, I'm pregnant, scared, and I want to have the baby." What can you see her saying/doing right off the bat? What about an hour later? A day later once she's had time to think. This is the time to put a plan in place so that you know what to do ahead of time. Wink (((Hugs)))
Moms are much stronger than we sometimes give them credit for. When I told my mom, yes, she was disappointed, but I told her I really needed her love and support, and she really came through for me when I needed her most. I'm sure your mom will be the same way. (((HUGS)))
Hi sweetie! I was 17 when I gave birth to my son and it was hard, but worth it. Your life will not end, it will go on and if you put all the strenghth you and God can into it, it will turn out all right in the end. You can read my story at www.openarms.homestead.com Or send me a message if you want to talk more about this. I will also let you know that I had one abortion as well. I never told my mom until years later and she was absolutely devastated...she felt cheated out of a chance to support me through a rough time...Hope this helps. Luv!
How is it going Sarah? Have you decided to tell your mom? Anything new going on? Please update when you can. Smile
Hi everybody!!! Thank you soooo much for all of your advice and help.
I still haven't old my mom. It's quite a scary topic to bring up. But i've tried. I just know how disappointed she's going to be.
I need to explain to her that even if i have the baby i'm not going to let it ruin my life. I still have my ambitions don't i? They might just take a little longer to get to.
I have been so sick! So much for morning sickness! How about all day sickness? Mom will probably figure it out before i get a chance to tell her anyway!!! She's a smart woman my mother.
My friend Rose has a nine month old baby who i spent the day with the other day. It was weird thinking that i could have my own.
Anyway! i made an appointment for the doctor to make sure things are good anyway, who knows (i'm only 7 weeks pregnant) i might lose it yet.
so i plan to tell mom before then.
What should i do about the father situation???
I have decided that i can't abort, but adoption is still on the cards...
Hi Sarah Smile Wonderful to hear from you this morning!
The way I advise young women to tell their parents is to first sit down with a pregnancy counselor in your area. (You might be able to do this on your own or with your friend, but a pregnancy counselor is more knowledgable.) Go over your plans for the next 5 years. (School, work, housing, etc.) Map out a plan to make your goals work. A prengnacy counselor might be able to tell you about grants to go to college for instance. She might be able to give you info on daycare assistance, money for food expenses, etc. The point is to have some sort of a written plan to show your mother. Then, sit her down and tell her you're pregnant. Expect some shock and concern - for certain - but don't take any of her first reaction to heart. Instead, trudge ahead and show her your plan to make things work. Then, head over to Rose's house to spend some time while your mom calms down. Wink
Parents freak out for many reasons obviously, but the biggest reason is because they wanted you to achieve certain goals. If you show her that you still have goals and know how to reach them, that will take some of the worry away, and she'll begin to plan how she can help you make it. Not only that, but she'll know you're taking this seriously and plan on being okay.
Sorry to hear about the all-day sickness. I had that too. Try eating peanut-butter toast...the protein and carb is supposed to help. It did for me. Gingery stuff helps too. Ginger-ale for instance.
Tell us more about the "boyfriend situation" and we can give you some advice. Smile Do you want to know anything about adoption? Here's the link to the adoption info stuff on the site. Read through the adoption types when you can and see if anything sounds nice to you.
Talk to you soon I hope!
Hi Sarah,
I am sorry about your sickness too. It's not fun at all. I had sickness too. It will go away. Try what Rose said and maybe sucking on hard candies. I did that and it helped.
With telling your mom, I say just sit down and be completely honest. With how you are feeling, that you are really scared and that you wanted to wait til you were married, but now you find yourself pregnant and you need her. I have a 17 year old daughter and I can't imagine what I would do if she came to me with the news of being pregnant, but I love her (as I'm sure your mom does you) and after the shock I believe I would support her and really look at the whole situation with her, especially life in the long run. Part of me thinks I would steer her towards adoption because of the age, schooling, single parenting, and finances. It would be hard to think of not seeing my grandchild, but then I would say that we need to think of what is best for the baby. Would I be upset, yes I most likely would be at first, but that doesn't mean I would throw her out. After all she was my baby 17 years ago. Your mom will be upset and she will need some time to think about what you are telling her.
As far as your boyfriend, I would tell him that this is your decision and if he had listened to you in the first place this wouldn't have happened. I've told my daughter, that if a guy says "I love you" and "I want to sleep with you" and "If you love me you will" that a sure test is to say "NO" and see what happens. This is something that happens to so many girls and it doesn't mean you are bad. You seem like a wonderful girl. You just made a mistake like we all do. You sound like a very mature 16 year old and you are in a tough situation that needs alot of support and love and understanding. If your boyfriend is not willing to give that to you, then it is better you found that out now.
Right now is not the time for you to have to deal with someone who will not be there for you.
You have made some good decisions already by making the doctors appt. That is very wise. Let us know how the appt goes. When you go away, what are you telling your mom?
Keep us updated. We all want to help you through this.
Love and hugs,
Ruth
HEY Sarah,
Just wondering how the doctors appt went?
Hope you are having a good day.
Ruth
Hello everybody! Thank you for your wonderful advice! Knowing that there is support out there is absolutely cruical at this stage of decision making.
There have been a few developments with my situation.
First of all i went over to my boyfriends house (prior to my doctors app) and pretty much layed it out to him like it is. Needless to say, he was shocked and not particularly happy. He ended up reluctantly saying that he would be there for me. I don't honestly see the relationship lasting throughout the pregnancy, regardless of my final decision.
Second of all-I AM HAVING TWINS!!! Which is completely insane and very very scary and makes everything harder. What were the odds of this happening to me? I am just hoping (And reminding myself) that i have been doubly blessed.
I talked to my aunt, who is a social worker specialising womens issues, and she pretty much said that if i commit myself to parenting, i have to expect hard times and a lot of judgement, which i know is true.
I was wondering if i have my twins adopted, will a family be willing to take both?? Because there is no way i would split them up, that would jsut be horrible.
I am so horribly scared at this point but i know that i am having these babies and i am willing to explore the options (frightening as it is).
Still haven't told mom Embarassed i will soon, i know that i can't just keep putting it off, but it's jsut so scary. i keep thinking what if i miscarry but i had already told mom? It would all be a big mess for nothing.
My doctor was absolutely lovely and said that my babies are perfectly healthy at the moment and that i am 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant.
I want to tell my youth pastor but that's almost as scary as telling my mom!
My friend Rose said she's ready to be here for anything at this stage.
I'll keep you up dated! thank you all again! (but yes, i would say i fall into the catagory of "still deciding"
Hi Sarah,
Wow! TWINS! Ruth and I both have twins - how neat! I bet you were totally shocked! I know I was when I found out.
In my opinion, you are handling things VERY well. You seem to be keeping your head on straight, which is very important right now. If you were to place your babies for adoption, I would think you would have no problem finding someone to want them both. The people that are unable to have their own children would probably also think that they would be doubly blessed to be able to adopt twins. I don't know for sure, but I would think that you'd be able to specify, too, if you'd want to split them up or not.
If you would decide to parent, it would be difficult. Especially with twins. It is a lot of work, but also with twins, it is doubly fun and rewarding. I found that if one was crying, the other usually wasn't. So I had at least one happy one most of the time. That's not always the case, but usually. It is hard, but it is doable if you want to do it. Although, since you are only 16, maybe that is more than you can take on right now, and adoption might seem like a more logical choice.
It is totally your decision, and we will support you no matter what you decide. And we're here to help in any way we can, so just let us know!
(((HUGS))) x 2 Wink
Chris
Oh my! What a surprise!! Twice the excitement and twice the concern I imagine! As if you didn't have enough to think about as it is!
If you decide to place for adoption, you can certainly specify that your twins stay together. I don't think you'll have a problem placing them quickly. It just depends on what kind of adoption plan you would like to make for them. Do you want to see them often? Do you want them to live close by or far away? Maybe your aunt can help walk you through the steps. I'm sure she's familiar with the laws where you live.
I think you ought to tell your mother - even if you do miscarry, which isn't likely, you're still going to need support and love to get through that. Your youth pastor should be very understanding and eager to help. Perhaps you could ask your friend Rose to go with you? She could be there when you tell your mom too if you need her to be.
Hi and HI again Sarah,
Yes, Chris and I both have twins and we can tell you the truth on both sides. It is alot of work. For someone of any age. The financial obligations are that much more too. It's one of those things, I have said that you wouldn't wish on anybody and you wouldn't trade it with anybody either.
Please explore all your options, you seem to be very mature for a 16 year old and for that I really give you alot of credit. Many girls your age are me me me minded and you do not seem to be that way.
Yes, many couples out there are more than willing to adopt twins. I know that for a fact. Adoption is a very emotional experience for both parties and for the adopting couple to be able to find twins is really a double blessing. And for you to know that your babies are being loved, cherished, and parented by two loving parents is a blessing too.
Telling your youth pastor is a great idea! Pastors have heard it all (almost). Is your youth pastor someone who could help you tell your mom? If not he could be in prayer for you as you get ready to tell her and when you tell her. Prayer is a powerful tool. Pray
Does your boyfriend know about the two babies now? Remember that this is still your decision. And Kudos to you for telling him how things are. You are really something. 8)
Did you make another doctors appt.? Did you talk with him/her about what to do?
Your aunt sounds like a great person to talk to. Another wise move on your part. You are doing alot of things right. She sounds like she wants to tell you the truth and not powder puff things and that is good. Because you need to hear the truth. This is a life long decision and your aunt seems to want you to be aware of that.
Please keep us posted and remember we are here to help you in anyway.
Remember God understands what you are going through. Psalm 147:5
We really care about you and what you are going through.
Love and prayers,
Ruth
Hello again. Thank you all so much for your kind, kind words and faith in me. Life experience so far has taught me to be mature in my thinking, and i am grateful somewhat for the prior trauma in my life.
I told my mom last night. Obviously she went crazy. Called me a lot of things s**t and such, which hurt me obviously but i could understand it really. She apologised this morning, and now i guess we are going to work from there. We're both avoiding it a bit atm i think, but i figure we'll have a good talk tomorrow, because she said i should take the day off school to sort things out a bit better.
I have another appointment in a week to make sure things are going ok...as this falls into the catagory of "high risk" pregnancy, being so young and having twins.
I'm glad there are moms of other twins here! So if i decide to keep my babies, i'll be asking you things everyday.
well i have to go right now but i'll write more later,
Love, Sarah
Well I'm glad you got it over with. I'm sure it's a relief to know that the worst is over as far as that goes. I'm glad you're not taking her first reaction to heart. It sounds like she's going to be helping you through this, and that's great!
Let us know how your talk goes with her tomorrow. ((((Hugs))))
Hi there.
I seem to be incredibly tired and it seems that now i know i'm pregnant (and esp. with twins) all of the "pregnancy symptoms" are exaggerated. My mother, needless to say, has no sympathy for me. Our relationship (which used to be incredibly close) is extremely battered at the moment, but not beyond repair.
Erm, secretly very very excited about being pregnant at the moment, even though i may still choose to give up my babies. Well it's not really "giving them up" is it? You are just placing them ouut of your care permanently. I don't know if i would want to keep up contact with them. It might just be to much to ask. But i would be willing to meet them and get to know them if they felt the need to find me. Oh there's so much to think about!
This is what i talked about with mom today. She asked me if i was still a Christian and why i did what i did and what i planned to do (she knew me well enough that abortion wasn't really an option). She asked me how i would go about the adoption, whether i would continue schooling at home or not at all, whether we would tell people or keep it secret. Or if i planned to keep it, where i saw myself in five years. You know-sensible mom stuff. It was very helpful really. She was very calm-clinical almost really.
As you can all imagine-i'm going out of my mind!!! i wanted to ask mom if she would support me, but i thought that was probably going a little bit far. I'm going to a youth place tomorrow to see what kind of benefits i could recieve, was i to keep my children.
It's all very scary and i feel about ten years older than i really am at the moment.
I havent spoken to my boyfriend since i gave him the sort of ultimatum, but i thought i might give him a call and tell him about the twins thing Surprised
our mom is just trying to deal with something she hoped would never happen to her daughter. She's probably handling it the best way she knows how, and it sounds like she's trying to be supportive, but it still in shock a little. I would just give her some time, and she'll be there for you.
I think you are very wise for someone your age. You're thinking this through very rationally, which isn't easy for anyone in that situation.
Let us know how things are going. You're in my prayers.
Chris
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time with pregnancy symptoms. It isn't just in your head. This is the week when that sort of thing typically starts, and with twins you'll be twice as tired an nauseated. ((((Hugs))))) Let us know if you need any tips on getting through.
A lot of people say "give up your baby" when you choose adoption. I prefer to say "place your baby/babies" for adoption. You aren't giving them up. You're letting them grow up somewhere else, and whether you feel you can see them is up to you, and you have lots of time to think about those details. When Christine gets back online she can give you first-hand experience with open adoption.
It sounds like your mom is being pretty great all things considered! Give her a hug from us. Smile This is hard for you - no doubt, but it's pretty hard for a mother too!
Let us know what the "youth place" says tomorrow. I'll bet your mom would support you if you needed the help. Actually, you might not be able to get rid of her with 2 babies. Wink (((Hugs)))
Hi again,
I am so glad that you have the initial talk with your mom over with. I try to imagine what I would do or say if our 17 year old daughter came and told us this news. I know it would be very hard speaking from a mom's point of view.
On the adoption part. I just want to tell you what a friend of mine, who has adopted two children. they are now in 7th grade and 2nd grade.
She said "I used to cry on Mother's Day because I didn't have any children and wanted them so badly. Now I criy on Mother's Day for the mothers who loved their babies enough to give them a chance at a better life and place them with me and my husband.
This is just something for you to think about. As if you don't already have enough as it is.
You seem to handling things well. And you mothers question about where do you see yourself in five years is very very wise. I strongly suggest you think about this thoroughly.
Let me know if I can help in anyway in the twin department and what you may or may not experience.
Love and hugs and prayers,
Ruth
Hello all.
it's been a few days since i've written. Not a lot has really happened. Mom has kind of gotten over it (well not really over it but she's accepting it)
i went to see what government benefits i could get, and quite honestly i could be alright, but it would be tight, very tight and probably not very enjoyable. Mom said she would help where she could. I think she's feeling a little more attached than me at the moment. I'm trying really hard not to be attached but still love them enough to care for them. it's quite hard at the moment, not knowing what i'm going to do.
I just keep thinking about all those people that can't have babies and how happy i could make them. My mom adopted out a baby when she was 19, and i know she's tryin not to be bias, but she told me before that she regretted it and the only reason she didn't keep him was because her parents wouldn't support her. it's all becomin very complicated.
still no word from the boyf and still feeling very sick.
Hello again,
I am so happy for you that you and your mom seem to working on things together and not apart.
Glad that you found out about govt. benefits too. Both positive things.
When I read
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but it would be tight, very tight and probably not very enjoyable.
This makes me wonder if you are really ready for the financial hardships that are ahead of you. You have time to really think these things through.
Did you already know that your mom had a baby at 19? 19 is quite different than 16. Those three years make the big difference of being in high school and of not being in high school.
I am sure that you are feeling very tired at this point and allowing yourself rest is fine and don't feel guilty. The sickness and tiredness will pass and soon you will be feeling alot better. Pay attention to see if certain foods bother you more than others and then stay away from them Wink.
Is there anything else you need help with? Just let us know.
Ruth
Yes, you could do it financially, especially with the help of your mother, the government, and the benefits you can get for having twins (or are those only for triplets and up?).
((((Hugs))))) Do you have a gut feeling? Like, when you think about it, do you automatically feel one way and then start arguing the opposite direction all the time? Sometimes if you have a gut feeling about it, that's what we need to explore.
Sorry you're sick feeling. Rest as much as possible, and eat whatever sounds good at the moment.
Hello again.
Thank you once again.
I was wondering...i know what sort of things i shouldn't be eating...but what could i eat lots more of to get more energy? I'm a veggie...so meats out of the question atm.
I think the reason i am particularly stressing over the financial issues is because my up bringing was lacking in money, full of love, but lacking money. And i was just thinking about what would seriously be best for the twins. But then on the other hand i think that i could not have wished for a better life, as it has made me ther person i am today.
there are loads of benefits anyway, as mom and i have slowly been leaking the news to people, there has been nothing but support and offers of help.
I have now told three of my friends, and i've had interesting responses. My friend with the baby said...keep them if that's the gut feeling you have, and you'll most likely love it, but that i wouldn't know any different if i adopted. which i thought was very strange. my other best friend asked me if i was insane even thinking about haveing them, even if i got them adopted, because apparently my life is over, and my last friend got incredibly excited and nearly cried when i said i might be having them adopted. Strange isn't it? But i thought it was good. it made me realise that everybody if going to have a different opinion and that i really have to listen to myself above everything else.
MY boyfriend called me today (finally after about a week of tentative silence) and he said he had overcome his shock....He was actually incredibly supportive and said he was more than willing to be there, and that he wanted to stay with me, and a lot of other nice things. We'll see. I'm not sure. It would be very nice to have him here to support me, but i'm definately not going to count on it.
In answer to your question rose (gut feeling) when i think about the decision ahead of me i automatically think parenthood. then i start fighting with myself as to why i shouldn't and how selfish it would be to keep my babies.
I'm gradually getting myself more confused at the moment.
Sarah,
You are doing incredibly well for someone in your situation, I feel. If you feel like you would like to raise your babies, I would say do it! It will be a lot of work (especially with two), but as you know from your childhood, all they really need is love. The other things will fall into place. You can get help with food, diapers, etc.
It sounds like mom is willing to help out, or at least be supportive at this point. That is so nice. No matter how old we get it's always nice to know that mom's behind us, whatever we're doing.
How nice that your bf is deciding to step up and help with the responsibility. Hopefully he keeps his word. Wink
Protein is very good for you right now. Do you like peanut butter? That was always a good thing for me - on toast, crackers, celery, whatever. Protein gives you more energy, and it kept me feeling full longer, so I didn't need to eat so often. It also helped the nausea. Your doctor may offer a nutritionist that you could meet with while pregnant, especially for twins, to help you figure out what and how much is appropriate. I had one while I was pregnant for the twins. It's amazing how much you need to eat to make sure your babies are healthy. Twins are often premature, so they want you to eat quite a bit more than normal so they can grow as big as possible before they're born. When it comes to twins, the bigger the better, I think. Wink
Sounds like you're doing all the right things so far. Keep it up! Let us know how you're doing.
(((HUGS))),
Chris
Hehe, exactly 8 weeks pregnant today! Very exciting i think even though i've got 32 weeks to go (though my doctor doubts i'll make it to full term, because of the twins and how small i am- 5 ft 2in) so there we go.
i am due on the 19th of april 2006 Very Happy i can't believe how far away that is! but at the same time...that's hardly enough time to grow human being.
I went back to school today for the first time in about a week. i felt sooooo bad. I was sick all day and couldn't concentrate, and it was hot and i felt bloated (i'm already showing! which is ridiculous, mom says it's cos i was so skinny to start with and she reminds me there's two in there. anyway the point is that i'm going to do home schooling for a while. at least for the first trimester. it's just too stressful.
My boyfriend came over today and we talked about a lot of things, like money and living arrangements, work, education, our parents. and then we went and told his parents and it was a very very strange response. His mother was ecstatic! i'm not exaggerating! she hugged me and got really excited. and his dad smiled and shook Will's hand. it was completely surreal. they told me we could all live there or they would buy us another place and anything we needed and so on and so forth. which was soooo reassuring! definate lean towards parenting at the moment, but i've told myself that at the 12 week mark i have to make up my mind.
i love peanut butter so much! but i didn't know whether you were supposed to eat peanuts when ur pregnant?? i'm been eating lots of nuts and things though and seeds and such...
it's all very exciting
Wow - you couldn't have asked for a better reaction from you bf's parents! How nice!
You sure are a tiny little thing to be carrying twins. I'm not tiny and I was HUGE! I hope you don't get too uncomfortable! If your back gets too sore or you have too many problems, your doctor may recommend bedrest. Which is not very fun, however, you have to do what's best for you and the babies.
I think you're smart to homeschool for awhile. Make things as easy on yourself as possible right now.
If you're going to choose between adoption or parenting, you don't have to feel pressured to decide by any certain time, unless you yourself want to have the decision made by then. You could wait until the very last minute if you wanted to. Maybe it would be good for you to find a moms of twins group in your area. Maybe you could visit a time or two, talk to some other moms, see what's in store for you. I could try to locate one for you, if you'd like.
Almost all I ate was peanut butter my first trimester. That's what my doctor recommended, so I can't imagine it's bad for you. If you like it - eat it up!
It sounds like things are really going well for you - I'm so happy for you!
(((HUGS))),
Chris
Hi again,
Sounds like things are steadily going up for and I am so glad.
Your mom sounds like a great lady, who really wants what is best for you.
Are you already taking prenatal vitamins. They will help in the energy area too. Give them a week or two to start to work and you should notice a difference.
With twins everything will be exagerated. Like the fact that you are showing already. I had the worst headaches ever for the first trimester and the tiredness was more too. But all these things do go away and 95% of all woman feel much better in their 2nd and 3rd trimester.
Keep eating lots of small snacks and veggies are good too.
Keep us updated. We love to here from you.
Ruth
Hello all! I've started eating peanut butter like there's no tomorrow now and i feel very good for it!
Yes i'm very little, only 5 ft 2 in and about 120lb, (well not at the moment!) so the doctor says i'm very little to be carrying twins and he hopes that they are identical because then i'll be a little bit smaller! i don't mind, though i'd like a boy and a girl Wink
haveing my bfs parents react so well was such a blessing!
speaking of blessings, i HAVE been taking prenatal vitamins (for about 1 1/2 weeks now) and i think they are starting to kick in.
i had school at home today. it was very weird, because i only had to do 3 hours then that was it. now i have the rest of the day to myself.
my friend rose (one with the baby), has a cousin that has TWO sets of twins. with only 13 months between them!! (they are tunring 2 and 1) so rose said we should have a play date and i can talk to her cousin. Anxious scary.
i'm not feeling pressured to make a decision really, i just thought for myself so have more time personally to get used to the idea (of which ever i pick). yeah we'll see, i bet i don't make the dead line.
i have an appointment with a nutritionist this week because i am diabetic and pregnant with twins and my age and size...apparently i am a very high risk pregnancy. Sad which is very scary. but i should be ok now because i have an OB as well as all my other specialists. my arthritis doctor is unsure of how my hips are going to take this so i could very well be on bed rest before we know it. which will suck. but my friend was on bedrest because of high blood pressure...so hopefully she'll know of some things i can do to keep entertained.
that's the goss!
Love, sarah
Wow Sarah....
I have been reading your posts and I am shocked at how mature you are for only being 16. I'm 18 and I would not be handling the situation half as well as you are!!
It's so wonderful that you are so excited about your twins. lol I wish that I was one of your friends so I could share in your excitment. I hope everything with the boyfriend works out for the best and that is awesome how his parents reacted. I hope that I can someday act that same way if put in the same spot as them with my own children.
Goodluck with making your decision and you are perfectly correct that people will all have different opinions but it's yours that you need to fully listen too! If I was your mother I would be very proud of you right now Very Happy Stay healthy and I hope you feel better soon!! Much love.
Wow...I'm so glad that BF's parents took the news so well! I think that's great (albeit a bit strange). I think that meeting with Rose's cousin would be a good idea. 2 sets of twins. eek!
It sounds like you're feeling better, and you're slightly more cheerier, which is great! I imagine you probably will be on bedrest, and that does suck. I was on it for high blood pressure too...for 12 weeks. bandhead It was rough. Enjoy being up and around now. Smile
I'm glad you're homeschooling, and I'm glad you're eating peanut butter. Peanut-butter toast was what I lived on during the 1t trimester.
Just a quick note to say hi and thank you as always for your kind, kind words and support. This is one of the hardest times in my life and i need all the support i can get.
I swear i am putting on a pound everyday. Mom says i'm jsut bloated but i'm not too sure about that. Haha she says it's probably also because the amount of peanut butter i consume! It's the only thing i can keep down apart from minty things. It's quite sad...all i can tell myself is only about 4 weeks of this trimester to go...then it's on to water retention, back aches, sore breasts, peeing 20 times a day and braxton hicks! lol...no i don't really mind as long as my babies are healthy.
My bf stayed at my house last night (mom said there's not really any harm in it now...but i got really annoyed at having to share my bed. i guess it will be something i get used to) it was weird...like i was playing grown up but i knew it was for real.
I am offically on bed rest indefinately. Which sucks and is so boring.
erm i think that's all. going to spend time with some twins next week though to get a feel for it and then next tues i have an appointment with an adoption service counsellor. Just keeping things open
Don't worry about the weight gain - for twins it is normal, and it'll slow a little too.
If you aren't comfortable sharing your bed with BF yet - you don't need to. Wink Tell him you need a ring on your finger before he can do that. Razz No sense being annoyed until you have to be...lol.
You're on bedrest already? What happened? Do you have a laptop? That's what got me through...lol. I played a lot of cards. I read books, watched movies, wrote thank you and Christmas cards, shopped online, etc.
You can't be going to visit the twins and the counselor if you're on bedrest - are you on partial bedrest or something?
Update soon. (((Hugs)))
Hi there. I wil probably be posting a lot now that i can't do much else.
The reasons for which i have been placed on bedrest (and i can do very minor things...rose suggested that she brings the twins mom around here and we can have a talk instead) is because a) my arthritis doctor said pretty much that my hips aren't going to take this very well. especially if i put unnessecary strain on them now b) my blood sugar levels are all over the place which has something to do with the hormones and such c) they just think that i should because i've had chronic fatigue in the past (2 yrs ago) and a stressful situation like this could trigger it again.
so yes. it's a bit dismal as nice weather is starting to come around.
i said to my bf that i'm not ready to get particularly serious now (not that we weren't serious before) but i don't want him to think that because we might be having a baby or two that he owns me.
i'm so sick...i'm just counting down the days until it ends. the sickness that is.
i just have to say thank you ALL so much , everyone who has posted and helped me. none of you have been judgemental in anyway, and i really needed an unbiased opinion.
Love, Sarah Maryland
I'm glad you at least have computer access. When I was on bedrest, I wasn't even supposed to prop myself up. I could go to the doctor 4 times a week though. Sheesh - that was an insane time. I don't envy you, but at least you can still be up and around a little bit for now.
I'm sorry you're so nauseated. Can you ask your doctor about some sort of medicine for this? Here in the States we have dramamine - which is for car sickness. My doctor said this was okay for morning sickness, but you should always ask your doctor first. Maybe something like this would help?
(((Hugs))))) We're glad to help! Keep posting away. Smile
It's been a stressful couple of days.
Yesterday i went for a little walk because i thought it would be good for me. NOT! In any way. About 2 hours after i got home i had the worst cramping of my life and i thought i was going to die. But i wasn't bleeding. But i called an ambulance anyway and they rushed me to hospital as i am now 10 weeks pregnant things are nearly to the not risky stage.
It actually (and i thank god for this 20 times a day) wasn't anything particularly serious. something to do with my pelvic bone bending under strain and the muscles were trying to contract to accomodate that. So now i am on the strictest bedrest ever.
But on sunday i talked to roses cousin (the one with twins) and she just talked to me about how insane she felt for the first year and how much she loves them, but is so glad she had the support of her husband (who wasn't her husband at the time). she just said that basically i have a chance of being able to do it if i build up my support network.
I am huge! seriously i feel like an elephant already i can't imagine what i'm going to be like down the track-it scares me.
well i'm exhausted out of my mind from doing nothing (which is strange) so i'm very sorry if none of this made sense...
prayers for my little babies!!!
Oh wow...((((hugs))))). That must've been very scary! I'm glad that you and the babies are okay. It sounds very painful. Did the pain stop? Or is it continuous?
I thinks Rose's cousin's advice is good. Who do you have in your support network? Your mom, for one, and she'll probably be the most help. Your boyfriend may or may not be at this point. Rose - but she has Charlie. Who else do you have (adult-wise) that can help? You'll need people to babysit, people to come and help you care for them, people to just let you talk when the kids start to drive you insane, people to help with housework-type stuff (laundry, cooking, cleaning up messes, etc.). Do you have a church you belong to? Do you know of one you could go to? They often have mommy groups there, and they also often have people that will bring food, help restore sanity, etc. Wink Are there any other mommy groups?
(((Hugs)))) Glad you're okay.
Hi Sarah,
Glad things are okay with you and the babies.
A support system is essential when you have twins. I don't know how I would've made it through the first 6 months without my mom and mother-in-law, friends, sisters, church, etc. The thing to remember is that you are the mother, so your job is taking care of the babies, before and after birth. The other things can be done by anyone else, but you are the only one who can eat right, rest, etc. before they're born and you're the only one who can nurse them after they're born (if you're planning to do that). Other people can hold them or feed them if you want them too, but they are your babies, don't feel bad having other people do the not-so-fun stuff.
Take good care of yourself.
(((HUGS))),
Chris
Hello again,
Sorry it's been a few days since I have written. But things are crazy around here and my computer wouldn't let me sign on a few times. UGGGGHGHH I hate that.
Sounds like things are good and bad. The bedrest bad. But the support from your mom and friends, good.
About BF, have you asked him what he is thinking for the future. Like marriage (a lifetime commitment), or just seeing how things go and if not good, does he think he will just move on. I suggest talking things out with him and find out exactly what his intentions are. You need someone who is going to be there for the long haul, like waking up in the middle of the night, some tough crying times that seem to last way to long, sicknesses, and the sort. If he isn't that sort of guy it is better you find out now rather than later. I know this sounds a little rough, but sometimes life deals us things that are not nice, but we still have to deal with them. I wish a sweet young girl like you didn't have to go through with this. But you still amaze me at your maturity and that will take you a long ways. Keep it up!
Have you decided what you are going to do parenting or adoption?
Are you drinking lots of water? Yes, you will visit the bathroom more but water is good for anything that may ale you.
Keep in touch. We love to hear from you.
Ruth
Hi Sarah,
I was just checking the website for new posts and I went to the Thinking of Adoption and I read some beautiful stories there.
I believe it would be good for you to read these. Will it be easy? Maybe not, but they are beautiful stories from the heart and in the end they have a happy ending for everyone. That was my take on it anyways.
How is bed rest going? Do you have good books to read? I can imagine it is very hard. I was not on bedrest with my twins. So I am very thankful. I was quite big though. All out in front.
Keep us posted on how you are doing. We will be here for the duration on your pregnancy if that is what you would like. Some of us check in more than others and sometimes someones computer decides not to cooperate, but there are always enough of us to help.
Love and many hugs,
Ruth
Hi there,
Sorry it's been a while since i've said anything! I've been sick! I have had the flu and i have never had the flu that badly and having the flu AND being nearly 11 weeks pregnant is about the worst thing that's ever happened to me. and i got really concerned that it would affect the babies...but i have been repeatedly assured that it is purely i (oh lucky me) who is experiencing the pain.
i have been trying to work out my possible support network. this is wat i came up with so far.
Ok i have my immediate family- My mum (who although she can't help me loads with finances, will do all baby sitting washing cleaning feeding etc she possibly can, and will provide the roof over my head)
i have my father (who lives about 2 hours away) he said he'll give me an allowance of around $300 a month which will be a massive help...and look after the twins if i ever need him too.
i have my 2 older sisters who are dying to get their hands on the babies already. and my older bro and his wife said they'd love to help any way they can
roses cousin said i can have any clothes i want because she's definately not having another baby for about 10 years...so that's great! and rose said the same thing...if i have a boy i can have charlies clothes.
i will get a youth allowance plus a small allowance for being a single parent and for having twins...
my bfs parents are also helping out financially and they want the babies one night a week!
it's insane how many people love babies and how many want to look after them!
my church has been VERY accepting as this is not the sort of thing they like to accept...
anyway g2g now
more info later!
Hi Sarah,
I'm glad you're feeling better. The flu is a bummer.
I'm so happy to hear about your support network. It sounds like everyone is willing to help. That will make things so much easier for you! Even having the babies gone one night a week will be a much needed break and time for you to get a good night's sleep. That makes a world of difference in dealing with them, I found.
Sounds like you're doing great! I love to hear your updates - keep us posted!
Chris
Sorry i left so abruptly yesterday...we had some visitors.
Anyway, my support is quite good really, which i will need if i decide to keep them in the end (i really really want to finish school!) i'm still looking out for a mommy group in the area!
I've been sort of tryin to get a definate answer out of the BF as to what his plans are. I mean i can deal with us breaking up...but i still need to know if he's going to be around for the babies. Or whether he's jsut going to completely bail, or whether he just wants nothing to do with them. Because his parents are now right in to it...so it'd be a bit hard for him to completely disappear...but then again, knowing men, he could do it!
i still haven't decided between parenting and adoption...i'd like to keep them, but i'm not going to unless i'm 100% sure that things are going to be well supported.
lol before i was pregnant i used to drink about 2 litres of water per day...i have no idea how much i'm drinking now...so much. it's good except i spend half my day on the toilet! and i'm also really scared about retaining water....
i got mom to go and get me some books the other day. i have got one on adoption..which i'm kind of scared to read actually. i have one on the "joys" and such of multiples. one on just basic pregnancy (it has a really good section on high risk pregnancies) and then one for teens which has actually been really good.
having the flu sucks. i hate it. i'm trying so hard to get better but theres not a whole lot i can do.
tv and books have become my best friends at the moment.
actually that's another thing...most of my friends have kind of...drifted away. I care...but not as much as i thought i would. i prefer adult company anyway.
well that's all! (hitting the 11 week mark tomorrow!!!)
Hi again, Sarah,
Who knows what your bf will do? It could go either way. With his parents being so into it, though, do you think they might get on his case a little to do the responsible thing for his babies? It sounds like either way you have so many people willing to help you that you would still have plenty of help. But you don't need to decide right away, either, whether you'll keep them or place them for adoption. At this point you can keep your options open, do some research on adoption, find an agency in your area, they will be able to walk you through that process, too.
It could just be that your friends don't really know how to act around you. They probably don't know what to say or maybe even figure that you need your rest and they shouldn't be bothering you. It might just be awkward because they don't know what you're going through. Hopefully they'll come around.
11 weeks! You're 1/4 of the way there! Probably at least that because twins are usually early. Although, I should warn you...I was on bedrest for awhile, also, and then my doctor ended up inducing me 2 days before my due date....so I did carry mine all the way to 40 weeks. I was pretty tired of being so huge...but my babies were good size and very healthy, so for that I am thankful.
Chris
Sarah, do you have an update for us? We'd love one when you have the time. Smile
Hi there everybody. the net hasn't been working so well which has been a bit of a downer on the bed rest thing.
erm wat to say....nearly made it to 13 weeks! which is so exciting! i haven't been sick in 3 days now! i'm on a roll. i went with my sister to her ultrasound the other day (she's only having 1...phew) and she's due 3 weeks before me...and the twins are probably going to be early so we're due at similar times which is going to be quite funny.
life has been very boring and the reality of it all has begun to hit me. no more parties..drinking...anything of the sort. i still haven't decided what to do yet. i had decided on keeping them and now things are different. the BF went to a party without me on friday night and that upset me more than i thought it would.
the babies are perfectly healthy and VERY big....joy for me....i seriously look about 4 and a half months pregnant already i'm huge...grrrr.
um..we're on school holidays here so i've had some friends come by which has been nice but none of them really know wat to say which is fair enough. i can't imagine what i would say to them either. rose and i have been planning charlies 1st birthday which is in a month. she's been very helpful...telling me about things very honestly. what she misses out on but what she has gained also.
not much else is going on. thinds have died down a bit really. now everyone is jsut waiting for my decision...and they're not verbally putting any pressure on me but i feel it anyway.
the bf's parents came out and said the other day that if i decided to put them up for adoption they would take them which is not wat i want at all and that just stressed me out even more.
*sigh*
that's about all.
here from boring bed land
Ugh...sorry you're so bored on bedrest. It brings back bad memories from when I was on bedrest. It does sound like you're able to get up and around quite a bit, so at least it isn't restricted bedrest. Stock up on movies and books, write out Christmas cards, design shower invitations, etc. Brainstorm a list of things you'd like to do - expecially since if you parent these babies, there won't be much time for that later.
I don't think that the boyfriend's parents can choose to adopt. It is up to you in an open adoption. Talk to an adoption consultant there before they scare you away from it.
(((((Hugs))))) Hang in there, and update when you can. Smile
(((HUGS))) Thanks for the update - you're in my prayers often.
I know how hard it is to give up the fun things when you're pregnant and after. Trust me. I didn't like it at first either, but you just need to surround yourself with people who aren't partiers and it gets easier, and before you know it you don't even think about it anymore. It's just part of growing up and out of that phase I think. Granted, some of us are forced to because of babies, but that's okay, I think. Once your babies are here, they are the most important and you'll be willing to give that up for them.
You still have plenty of time to decide what you're going to do. Don't let your bf or his parents push you into anything. Do what feels right for you. I agree with Rose....check into the adoption thing with a local agency...I'm sure they can tell you how it would work and what your options are and what they can or cannot do legally.
It's nice to hear from you...sorry you're so bored. I remember those days, too. Lots of tv, books, movies, and sleep. You won't have time for those things once the babies come, though. So keep that in mind and tell yourself to try to enjoy it while it lasts. I'm glad to hear the babies are doing well.
Keep us posted when you can.
(((HUGS))),
Chris
It's been a very hard week.
My dad came to visit and i knew it was a bad idea, because quite honestly, his presence freaks me out let alone what i knew he would have to say to me.
But he came over and sort of sat on my bed and gave me a very long talk about how i am a disgrace to the family (greek) and that he fears for me and my acceptance in the world. He said that my babies aren't being born into a good family or good circumstances and that they will end up in jail. He said a whole lot of these horrible things and i could feel myself getting worked up and then i had the WORST pain ever really low in my stomach and he thought i was putting it on so i didn't have to listen to him, so then he got angry and started yelling and i couldn't yell because i was in so much pain. eventually i got up and left the room. didn't make it very far though. i got out of the room and hit the floor.
next thing i knew i was in hospital. this pregnancy is causing so so so much trouble in my life. BF is trying so hard to be supportive really, but he's just not. and i dont want to have to ask him to stop being a teenager even though i have because although he probably would, i think the resentment would eventually override these things.
I have high blood pressure now also to add to my list of ailments and i'm only 15 weeks along! apparently i came soooooooooo close to losing one of the babies. because it was distressed and caught under the other one. that's a very scary thought. i can't imagine jsut losing one. i don't know if i could keep the other one then. couldn't look at it without thinking death. it's all very horrible.
so now mom and i are so angry with dad.
things are just a bit glum at the moment
((((((Hugs)))))))
I'm so sorry that this week has been just horrible! What an awful thing for your dad to do. I hope that you didn't take anything he said seriously. Your babies are going to be born into a fine home with a lot of love, and that makes wonderful circumstances for any child.
I had high blood pressure too. It's no fun...especially with all the testing they made me go through every week in addition to the bedrest. It's going to be very important now to stay calm and stay in bed. Don't let anyone put you in a situation where you're going to be upset. (In other words, no talking to your dad until the babies are born.)
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers for happier and calmer times. You're almost half-way done...just keep that as your focus.
Hi Sarah,
What an awful thing for a dad to do! After everything you've been through he had to go and do that! Mad It would probably be best, as Rose said, if you do not see him again until the babies are born.
How scary to almost lose one! It sounds like your health and the babies' health is very fragile right now. It is so important to stay in bed as much as possible. I know it's awful....been there, done that. But that is the best thing you can do to protect yourself and your babies from something like this happening again.
You're always in my prayers. Keep updating us...we love to hear from you!
(((HUGS))),
Chris
Hey there hon! Sorry to hear you are having such a rough go of it. Try not to let your dad get to you though...I know that is hard but for the sake of your sanity and the babies health. Parenting can be a struggle and I will tell you the truth, you won't always be supported. There will always be naysayers who try to put you down, or tell you that what you are doing is wrong. As you decide rather to parent or make and adoption plan for your children, try to make the choice based on your own merit. Not on rather or not you will be supported. If I learned anything from my teen parenting experience at all, it is this. You cannnot, must not ever put your whole faith in anyone but yourself and God. Roomates will bail on rent, mom will get mad from time to time, bf may come and go etc....I'm sorry but I cannot recall how old you are...Anyway not really important. When I faced my 3rd unplanned pregnancy, I forced myself to ask the hard questions. Can I give my child everything he/she deserves in life?...Love is good but it doesnt guarantee a tummy full of food before bed or clean diapers. Will I be able to spend adequate time with the child? I spent my son's 1st three years working full time and going to school....He is now 7 yrs old and in therapy dealing with attachment and abandonment issues....Don't get me wrong, by no means am I saying that would happen with your kids, only that it is a possibility if you have to leave them for extended periods of time....I guess my point is that if you feel in any way that parenting would overwhelm you, then open adoption is a choice that offers great freedom and a chance for you to give your kids wonderful, dedicated parents and yourself the chance to finish school and pursue your dreams. I wouldnt try to tell anyone what to do, but as a birthmom I just wanted you to not be afraid of adoption...It isnt as scary as some places/people will tell you. It just takes maturity and rock solid resolve, and a whole lot of selfless love. There are struggles, but as with parenting there are rewards too. If you would like to chat more about open adoption, feel free to pm me anytime. Best wishes with either choice. Either way you will have been extremely courageous! (((hugs))))
Sarah,
I am sorry too, about your dad. How long has he and your mom been apart? If it has been a long time and he has been out of touch with you, it makes his outburst make more sense. Not right in anyway, just more sense. An Absent father does not have a good take on what is going on.
He had no right to yell at you and say those things. You have been very courageous and mature with all that you have been going through.
I agree with Christine on what she said about adoption. Read her post again. I sent you a post a week ago and if i say so myself, I came up with some good ideas. Wellllll anyways my computer disconnected me and sooooo I rewrote again and my computer disconnected me again, so then I was brain dead and couldn't remember what I was trying to say to you.
Now I can't remember much at all. So sorry about that.
About your bf, remember he is young too and this is all scary unknown territory for him. Guys don't handle settling down as well as the gals. You seem to be handling him well by not putting to much pressure on him.
What do you see yourself doing in five years? Being a mom of five year old twins or maybe in college and getting a degree?
It doesn't have to be five years either. What do you see yourself doing in one year? Parenting one year old twins or being in highschool and doing highschool stuff? How do you see this experience changing your life?
Please take care of yourself and those babies.
Love and hugs,
Ruth
Hi there Sarah,
how are you going? i haven't been able to get through to you (via your house (you weren't there!) or phone or e-mail!).
are you ok?
Hi Sarah,
How are things going with you? We would love to hear from you.
Have things with your dad gotten better or have you not been in touch with him?
How is the pregnancy going? How are you feeling? Do you have any questions or concerns that you would like to talk about?
Just wondering,
Ruth
Sarah,
I'm eager for an update. I hope that you're okay and just laying around being bored out of your mind, unable to get to the computer. (((Hugs))) You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh my goodness! It has been so long since i have written anything! So much news to tell!
Where to begin...? Ok well i decided to keep my babies after those horrible horrible remarks from my father who i have cut out of my life for a while.
My boyfriend and I are going really very well. He's been coming to Church with me and things seem to be going quite well.
My church is being soooo supportive and i know they are all really really disappointed in me, but the pastor just keep telling me that God still loves me and that we all make mistakes.
My health....has been interesting. It's very up and down. I'm on summer holidays now which is fantastic and i've been quite busy.
The babies started kicking about....three weeks ago i think. It was one of the single most exciting experiences of my life. seriously, i was so excited i drove to my best friends house to tell her lol!
would you like to know wat sexes the babies are?? lol i'll tell you if you want me to.
my mother has just been soo phenomonal, i am proud of HER for doing all she has, seriously.
my boyfriend and i are considering marriage at the moment. it's what i want to be honest. it's a HUGE step and i am fully aware of that but if we love each other enough to make a baby we are in love enough to get married. i want my babies to have two parents there all the time.
oh what else? Some of my friends have had a turn around and are really really getting behind me now (only took them 22 weeks!) which is fantastic, but it's the girls at church that are being the most fabulous.
erm my sisters baby is due.....january 11th and i'm due april 11th so that's all very exciting. my ob says there's no way i'll make it to my due date though. he says he's going to induce me in march if i haven't had them by then.
anyway...ask me questions because i'm SURE i will have missed out a million things in this message (pregnant brain.....so forgetful)
YEA we want to know the sexes of the babies! Are you KIDDING? lol!
I'm so glad that you came back to leave a message...I wondered where you went to!
I'm glad that your friends and your church is being great. Are they showing you that they are disappointed in you? Or is this more how you feel? In my opinion, it wouldn't be right of them to make you feel guilty about what happened. If God forgives mistakes, then so should we. Wink But I'd imagine that it's just more a sense of guilt that you have. Don't live under that feeling for too much longer. It doesn't do you any good. Smile
How exciting to be thinking of marriage! Congratulations! Don't rush too much. Your babies are going to have a mommy and daddy regardless of whether you're married before or after the birth.
I'm glad you're feeling them move around! It is the neatest feeling, isn't it? Enjoy it now - soon there will be a TON of movement. Smile
((((Hugs)))))
Thanks for the update, Sarah! I've been thinking about you.
It sounds like things are really going well.....that's so great! Of course we'd love to know what you're having!!
It seems that many prayers are being answered on your behalf! I am so thankful for that! Things with church, your bf, your mom......all great!
I'm laughing about the movement. It is so exciting at first! As amazing as it is, when I was pregnant with my twins I actually got annoyed after awhile. I couldn't sleep they would move so much! Enjoy it, though, because once they're born you'll miss that. So you've probably got around 10-12 weeks or so left. It will feel like it's dragging, but when the time comes, it will seem like it has gone fast.
Keep yourself healthy, and we'll pray for a healthy pregnancy and delivery for your little ones.
Keep us posted.
(((HUGS))),
Chris
HELLO THERE. lol
after this message i think i'll move my big fat self to the pregnancy board as i am no longer still deciding.
I am so huge. It's just ridiculous. because i'm a small framed person and light and short, i look sooo out of proportion at the moment (i guess it's only going to get worse though isn't it?) i stick out about a mile. one of those pregnancies where everything is right out the front, all in the belly.
I definatly do feel a lot of guilt, and i feel really ashamed because i used to be a huuuuuge youth advocate at our church, and i am really good friends with the pastors kids so i was often getting up at youth group and preaching to them all about sex and stuff like that. i dont want them to think it's ok. but i know i need to get past that. it's the kind of thing you can carry for a loooong time.
yeah with getting married....i dont know whether it would be easier to do it before or after the babies are born. i just cant imagine trying to organise a wedding with two babies around!
my godparents have been really really helpful with finances (because i've had to have so many specialists) and not judgemental at all.
i'm lucky in that i look quite old for my age and i dont get a lot of stares and glares from the general public. but i defiantely still get them. it's really upsetting when people are staring at you and you just want to yell WHAT??!! i think they probably just think i'm some dirty s**t who sleeps around, but usually that's not the case with teen pregnancy.
anyway, enough ranting from me.
i've been spending a lot of time with my friend's cousin rose (with all the twins) and it's been really good. she's been super helpful and so has her rose (that's a little confusing isn't it? so many roses!) they are both helping me out with clothes and things like that.
well that's about it.
haha bet you thought i'd forgotten.....i'm having a boy......and a girl! horray! i'm so lucky!
Yay! Congratulations! I'm quite partial to a boy and a girl myself, since that's what I have. It's so fun. Mine are 3 now and they get along well most of the time. It's cute because my son, even though he's only 3, is very protective of his sister. I laugh, it's so cute! I can't wait till they're 15! Hopefully he'll still be the same way! lol That's so great. Keep us posted, hon.
(((HUGS))),
Chris
I remember feeling as big as a house too, and it's amazing, looking back, how big I did get. But it goes away. It's only going to be here for a little longer, and then you'll start to recuperate. Are you thinking about breastfeeding? That takes it off a little quicker.
You're right about wedding planning with babies in tow, but if you waited a good year, it might be manageable. Let us know what you decide. Smile
Congrats on having boy-girl twins! Do you have names picked out??
Hey Sarah,
Long time no read and write. I just got done catching up on your new posts. I haven't been online for a few days. How great everything seems to be going for you. I am so glad.
As far as guilt goes. Guilt comes with everything especially those things that we had preached about before. I give you credit for staying in the church and not walking away. That takes an incredible amount of courage on your part. You could even be more influential with the kids in the youth group now because of what you have gone through. You can tell them, yes it's wrong and yes it's very easy to slip and make that mistake. So you need to be prepared for when the times comes and you get into that situation. Or try very hard to not get into the situation, like group dating and early curfews and being accountable to someone else. And then follow up with God forgives all sins when we confess to Him. The Bible tells us He hurls them into the sea. He doesn't just set them in there or toss them He hurls them. And then as Corrie TenBoom (an author) says "God then puts up a no fishing sign" Isn't that neat.
A wedding too! WOW! You do have alot on your mind. My first thought is for you to wait until after the babies. Like Rose said maybe a year. By then all your hormones have gone back to normal and both you and your boyfriend will be a year older. Just my thoughts.
It was great to here from you again. My twins are identical boys. So of course I am partial to boys. But I think a boy and girl are fantastic too.
Love,
Ruth
RUTH! They are fantastic ideas! I will definately use them tomorrow night because our pastor has been saying that i need to come up with something. That's great! Thank you so so so so much! I definately want them to understand things because i think they are all very confused right now!
Probably wait until both my bf and i finish high school until we get married. As eager as we are, we need things to settle a bit more and so we can mature, and then the wedding will be more enjoyable (doesn't mean i'm not going to start planning it though!!!)
Hi Sarah,
Let me know how it went with your youth group. I think the majority of teenagers are confused.
Planning a wedding is great fun and I hope you have lots of fun looking at all different styles and ways of doing things. I think you and your BF are very wise in waiting. The best things in life are the things we wait for.
Love,
Ruth
Hey guys (ruth ann).
i'm gonna be posting in the pregnancy board no uner "still need your support guy Very Happy" so i'll just tell the youth group/church story in there (so you dont all have to read it twice!)
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