Saturday, March 11, 2006

TORTURED MY STORY

Hello everyone, I found out I was pregnant on Tuesday. I'm 10 weeks and got pregnant on Yasmin birth control. I am a 36 year old divorced professional with the means to care for a baby. I met a man soon after my divorce and we became friends and lovers we had both been thru similar situations. Our spouses left us for another person. We were both devasted but found comfort in the other. Our relationship grew over the last 4 years. We are very close. However, I knew he had been seeing another woman the whole time and I choose to stay there anyway. I dated other men but when I did Bruce drew me in closer and well I fell in deep like with him. He said he cares for us me & the other woman very very much but we have created a mess. I'm pregnant, he's a 46 year old business owner who thought he would never be a father. at this point. His ex wife would never have kids. He wanted them badly 10 years ago. He tells me he's terrified and doesn't want to be a dad at this point in his life. He is desperately trying to persuade me to have an abortion. I don't belief in abortion and I can't do it but I have been tempted to do it for him. He paints this rosey picture if I do it for him and this doom and glom picture if I don't. I told him he didn't have to be a part of the baby's life and that I wouldn't tell people who the father is. He said no he couldn't choose that. SO I've sat here is agony and pain for the last 5 days and tried to make a decision. I have emailed Rose but need more help. I'm just so hurt and I don't want to make a mistake. I'd be a great mom. I've been around kids my whole life. My side career is teaching ballet & yoga to preschoolers. I love kids. I always wanted kids in the right situation but what do I do? I have an appt for Tuesday but I just made it for him. I am supposed to give him my decision Sunday night and told him I promised to make an intelligent clear decision but I am petrified. Please help. Crying or Very sad Valerie

-val819

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Valerie,

I am so sorry that you are being put in this position. From reading your post, I'd say that you want to have this child. So, my response to you is....go for it. You want this child and you would be a wonderful mother. There is no reason you should deny yourself that opportunity if you want it. The decision you make needs to be one you make for yourself. After all, you are the one who will be left to deal with the effects of your decision for the rest of your life. You said you don't believe in abortion, and that is a huge red flag. You will be compromising your beliefs for this man if you go through with it. Is that something you want to do? Not to be harsh, but what happens if he decides he doesn't want to stick around anyway? Then you are left without him and without the baby you wanted to raise. Don't rush into this, hon. It doesn't sound like you're rushing, but don't feel like you have to go through with it on Tuesday if you're not ready. You can always postpone the appointment. There can be a lot of feelings of resentment if a woman has an abortion simply because that's what the man wants. The most important thing right now should be what you want. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Go with your gut. Do NOT COMPROMISE for him. If you want this baby, then by all means stand firm. He might be shocked and dismayed but guess what, that is what freedom of choice is all about! This is your choice not his. If any part of you desires to be a mom then why should you sacrifice your needs on the alter of his selfishness? That is not love. Him pressuring you is not love. It is childish and unnacceptable. If he loves you he should want what is best for you. Besides, if you do abort, what are the chances of you ever getting to be a mom? Statistically, relationships tend to flounder and fail after a co-erced abortion anyway. If you do this for him, guilt and resentment don't exactly make a sturdy foundation. Besides, if he is with this other woman too, that doesnt speak highly of his committment level. If you ask me, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He just doesnt want to pay child support, but as a business owner, I would take him to the cleaners just for putting you through so much hell.

Anonymous said...

I know you both are so right. I just needed to hear it from other strong determined woman all over the world. My girlfriends all say the same thing. If only men were like us. I have told my family and my brother who at 17 stood by his pregnant girlfriend at the birth of his now 16 year old son. I talked her out of abortion so what kind of person would I be to do the opposite for him. Everyone that knows me and loves me tell me not to do it. I feel like I have so much support. I am very lucky & fortunate. I will do what I feel in my heart for myslef and for the tiny heart that beats within me and is just asking for a chance to be. You are all so right and I have researched all the statistics. I would resent and never feel the same way about him afterwards. I still may not even if he sticks around. Oh he will be facing the music and it won't be pretty but I think he'll survive. Maybe he'll even grow. Maybe he'll learn to love again if not me I pray his child. This man has been emotionally dead since his wife left him 6 years ago. He really isn't a bad person. He had never cheated on anyone in his life until this. He is a very loyal, kind soul. He's just scared for his life right now. I'm not anymore. You all made me feel 100% about making the right decision and I know exactly what that is. Thank you for making me smile for the first time in 5 days. Hugs back, Valerie

Anonymous said...

Glad to be of help. (((hugs))) Do keep us posted.

Anonymous said...

Hi Valerie,

I'm so glad you posted! It sounds like you are feeling better about being able to make this choice for yourself. Keep talking here. Let us know how your meeting with him goes tomorrow about this. I'll be waiting nervously for an update.

Anonymous said...

Hi Valerie,

I am glad that you found us here too. I ditto everything Chris and Christine said to you. I do want to add a few items though.

I am going to go back to your first message and quote some of the things and just respond a little to them. I hope that's ok.

Quote:
I knew he had been seeing another woman the whole time and I choose to stay there anyway. I dated other men but when I did Bruce drew me in closer and well I fell in deep like with him. He said he cares for us me & the other woman very very much


Have you ever heard of the saying "no one can serve two masters" This can also be said "no one should be allowed two woman." He can date other women, but when you date another man then he gets possessive. I'm sorry, but I have a real problem with men like this. I realize he has been hurt, but that does not give him the right to treat women like this.

Quote:
He is desperately trying to persuade me to have an abortion. I don't belief in abortion and I can't do it but I have been tempted to do it for him. He paints this rosey picture if I do it for him and this doom and glom picture if I don't.


He is persuading you, and threatening or bribing you. That's like saying "IF you rob this bank by yourself for me and give me the money I will really appreciate it and if you don't you won't get any" Either way you are the one who gets short changed. You do not believe in abortion and say here you can't do it. So my advice like Chris and Christine is don't.

Quote:
I love kids. I always wanted kids in the right situation but what do I do?


This may not be the ideal situation, but that doesn't mean it can't be a healthy situation. There are lots of single parents out there who love their kids and raise them to be very wonderful people.

Quote:
I am supposed to give him my decision Sunday night and told him I promised to make an intelligent clear decision


Why are you the one who has to be intelligent? It seems you are the only one who is being intelligent. Why can't he be even a little intelligent as far as what you want and feel is best for you?

I hope Sunday night, which is only a few hours away where I am, goes well. I hope you are able to read all this again before then. Stay strong, and be committed to what you want. When he sees that you will not be persuaded by his bribing he may quit arguing.


You seem like a wonderul lady who has alot to give to other children and especially to one of your own. Please think about the oppurtunity that life is giving you right now at this time.

Quote:
I feel like I have so much support. I am very lucky & fortunate.


This shows alot about you right in that statement. You are being thankful even while you are going through so much. Any child would be fortunate to have a mother like you who can see the positives cleary through the negatives.

Anonymous said...

I just completely chickened out. I feel like a coward. I just couldn't tell him i wasn't haven't an abortion. Help!!!! I told him I needed another week. All that's going to do is really make this ugly.

Anonymous said...

Just a thought but here goes...why tell him anything at all? Just stop calling him. Stop seeing him. If he calls, ignore him. Just drop him like a bad habit and do what you want to do. When he gets the notice for child support, he will get the picture. KWIM? Why do you need to answer to him like a naughty little child? He isn't your father and so far he hasn't been much of a father to this new life either. I would not give him the time of day, let alone include him in this life changing decision! My $0.02 for what its worth. (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

((((Hugs))))) I emailed you about this too, but I wanted to suggest here as well to send him a letter so that he doesn't have anyone to argue with while he reads it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Valerie,

I can only imagine what your stomach is doing right now. I can only suggest to get that horrible feeling out is to face this head on. We are all here praying for and supporting you.

Tell him exactly how you feel. If it is through a letter or a phone call this might be better, b/c it seems that he has a control issue over you.

It seems like you would like to say, "I don't want an abortion, I have always wanted a child and I want this one to love and raise and get to know for many many years." This is where you end the discussion.

I know it is so much easier for us to tell you what to say than to have to be you and actually do it, but we are here to tell you that you can!!!

The less you see him in person right now the better. You need to get your confidence up and not let him control you.

I agree with Rose and Christine on all they said. Especially with writing a letter.

Anonymous said...

Hi Valerie,
Just a few of your points: you don't believe in abortion, you have what sounds like a fantastic support network with family and friends, you're 36 not 16, and you have a stable source of income. Plus it sounds like you've already fallen in love with the precious baby you're carrying. The father doesn't sound very committed to you - your own words: he's seeing another women and has been for some time (and he loves you both???). Rolling Eyes Go with your heart Valerie and, what sounds to me, your good common sense. We're all thinking and praying for you. Keep in touch with your decision - we back you no matter what the final decision is.

Love,
Sandi

Anonymous said...

Here is the letter I drafted up. Regardless of how I do it, I plan to give him this letter so he has to constantly reread it over and over again. Maybe it will help him when he has to face the world.

Please tell me what you all think. Valerie

As I sit here again in complete agony & sadness I worry about you. I am sorry that this is not an easy decison for me. I am sorry that I have gone back and forth. I have spoken to a couselor and see things pretty clearly now. I am sad! More sad than I can ever remember yet I know they were times in my life I felt this sad before. I wish I wish I wish that I could close my eyes and be at peace with an abortion. Therefore I cannot have one. You can thank my parents for that. For the upbringing they gave me. I am a good person and it is because of them. I always put others first but this time I can't. This time I must protect my heart because I can. I think in the longrun you'd hate me more if I wasn't true to myself. You may hate my decision. You may hate me. It is my turn to help you see otherwise. This baby will be loved. Maybe not by you but I know I can reach deep enough in this heart & soul and find that love for this child. I am not a Martyer. I will have to be stronger than I ever have and I never wanted to be but I must. This way I will not have the immense sadness & regret that an abortion would bring me. I know myself and I can't compromise myself for fear of how the world will react. We had something beautiful at least in my heart. Something that I will carry with me forever. Literally a child. A gift from God. No not in the way I would want it to be but its the way it is. I beg you to forgive me. If not today someday. I beg you to walk in my shoes the way I have walked in yours the last few days. I know it wasn't pretty. I know what you will have to go thru. I'm so sorry Bru. Doing it your way just isn't the right way for me. I don't feel it's the right way for you either. I have taken YOU into consideration. That is why I gave you a choice. You can be in or out. I don't intend to ruin your life. I don't intend to be mean thru this. This is a WIP and how we handle it will be character building and define us as individuals. I'm am sorry,I am so sorry that I'm not a stupid woman that can just accept your choice. I know it may be the best but I will work everyday of the rest of my life to prove to you otherwise. I will be there when you need me. You can scream, yell, whatever you need to do. You call me nasty things. You can hate me!!!! BUT as much as I trust you. I can't trust that. I want nothing more than to be on your side of the fence but I can't, I can't and I won't. I am sorry Bruce I am truly sorry. I can only offer both of us words of encouragment. It can be better. We can do this. It doesn't have to be bad. We choose how we handle things. I am personally going to go talk to a counselor. You might find some solace in doing the same. I care about you so much and I am going to worry everyday that you hate me. I don't want you to shut down. I need you more than ever. More than I've ever needed anyone. Please don't abandon me. Please don't shut me out. We will figure it all out one step at a time. I don't have any magic answers right this second. My decision is still stinking in. I will end with my positive because I believe things can always be better, yes could they have been better your way. I would've made them but have been haunted the rest of my life. You know I always try my best. I will in this situation as well. It will all be ok in time. Val

Anonymous said...

sounds good to me. i am glad to see you following your heart. Best wishes sweetie.

Anonymous said...

When are you planning on giving it to him? The end of the week? Or ASAP?

Anonymous said...

Valerie,

The letter is very good and I could tell it was from the heart.

After this quote
Quote:
It can be better. We can do this. It doesn't have to be bad. We choose how we handle things. I am personally going to go talk to a counselor. You might find some solace in doing the same.


This is very good to suggest he get help from a counselor. Guys are not so quick to do this b/c they feel it means they are weak, but no one has to know.

I would also tell him that if things were to work, the other woman has to be out of the picture. A true committment has to be made and if he can't do that, then you are better off with out him. You are worth the committment and you deserve it.

Let us know how he accepts the letter. One more little piece of advice. After he reads it, have him contact you by phone so that it will be easier for you to stay stronger. Meeting him in person might weaken you. Remember, you have already made up your mind.

Lean on your family, they sound wonderful and are a great support for you.

Anonymous said...

It sounds good, like Ruth said, it sounds like it really came from your heart. I also agree that in order for things to work, he has to make a commitment to you and agree that there will be no other women in his life. Stay strong, you are doing the right thing by following your heart and not compromising yourself. Let us know how it goes.

Anonymous said...

It helps more than any of you can imagine. It's easy in a situation like this to wonder if your making the best decision. I've never been more certain. I have overcome so many things. In the grand scheme of things this is more of a blessing than anything. I try to see that everyday. He has stopped emotionally badgering me into the abortion. He just calls everyday to see if I'm ok. Our conversations are short. They used to be hours long. He only takes my phone calls he sits in his home and acts like he's dying because of a decision I can't make. He's miserable at his business. Everyone knows somethings up but they don't know what. He is sinking away and becoming depressed, bitter & angry. I don't know but I can only pray that something goes off in his head and he realizes this isn't the end of the world. I think & am fully prepared for it to get worse first though. He's a kind man, non abusive, just a bit selfish. I made an appt for therapy to help me and I hope he eventually does the same. I have male friends and they are wonderful and keep telling me how men act. They will be there for me. The one is a remarkable man with a remarkable wife & two children. He told me today that when they were 19 in college they had an abortion. I was surprised. He said it haunts them both still today. They are know in their 40's. They are such a strong couple to have made it thru that together. That's the type of relationship and man I want. I'm so thankful to have such amazing people around me. It helps so much in times like these. It really really does. I will keep you all posted. I'm not sure exactly when I will give him the letter. Sometime shortly. I just figure I'll listen my gut for the right moment and then I'll deal. Hugs to all, Valerie

One thought-Why are woman so much stronger than men?

Anonymous said...

its realy amazin to see the strength u av found to follow your heart, stay strong, thinkin of u, marisa xx

Anonymous said...

I am trying to be strong. I have been thru so much on my path of life. That has taught me to listen to my heart & my gut. I avoided that feeling for years. Wow, in my 20's. Yikes. I'm just happy that I've been able to grow past each challenging time and find the good and try it a better way. This is isn't me being right. It's about me doing what I feel in my heart. This man and I have been thru so much alone & together. When my husband left, he carried me as his wife had left him a year earlier. He was so inspiring over the years and I feel in love with him. The only problem is I was able to release the anger & bitterness of my divorce. I feel like he never has been able to. I scare him. I'm younger, full of emotion, I make him feel. He told me I taught him how to care again something he stopped doing after his divorce. I challenge him. I won't give up on him. I'm not trying to fix him. I'm trying to have him grow for himself. I know I could raise this baby on my own and you can't make a person be someone they can't be. I can only hope that he's capable. If he's not no biggie. Someone out there is.In the meantime, I have my family, my friends, & my two amazing pug dogs who lick my every tear. Have a nice day everyone. Thanks for all your support. I will keep you updated as I still haven't had the strength to tell him no for the last time or given him the letter. Valerie

Anonymous said...

Quote:
One thought-Why are woman so much stronger than men?


LOL - This is one thing I wonder daily. Wink I'm just going to plan on asking the Good Lord when I get up there. I think it just has a lot to do with us being able to think on multiple levels whereas men are very surface level and cut and dry. (My apologies to any sensitive men reading. Wink )

Hang in there Valerie, and just take it a day at a time. It might be starting to sink into your dear BF that you aren't going to be able to do this as easily as he thought you would, and that's working in your favor. Sometimes not saying anything speaks volumes. Do keep us updated.

Anonymous said...

Valerie,

Rose is right, sometimes not saying anything is speaking volumes.

Keep believing in your heart and rely on your family and friends, and of course us Very Happy We really want to continue helping you and encouraging you.

Your are right when you say that you can't change him, he has to do that for himself. Too many woman think they can change a man and that just can't happen.

Have you been to the doctor yet? Let us know how things are going in the pregnant department.

Anonymous said...

I still haven't told him and have been sobbing horribly all weekend. He has been trying to contact me thru phone & email. Here are some of his emails. I just feel numb and sad today and can't talk to him. Crying or Very sad

Here are 2 of his emails from yesterday & today.

I'm sorry that we both hurt, I have spent the last week and a half looking at it from your side. I've not
dwelled on the actual procedure because I know it's horrible. Yes I worry that you will be fine
both physically and mentally if you have the procedure. I know this will become another dark burden
to live with for you. Yes live with for the rest of our lives. I know it's something that you've
never considered and how this option makes you sick. I know that having a child isn't an option you
like either. A child that neither one of us wants. And yes it's easier for me to abort because I
don't have to under go the operation. And yes I worried about proctecting myself. But I am worried
about protecting you as well. Yes I thought about your same example of little Stenphie all week to
and that terrifies me. But I keep coming back to the fact that this is something we both don't
want. I don't think it's right to bring a child into the world under these circumstances. I've
explained all of my
feelings and views with you already. I wish I could take the pain away. I unfortunetly can't do
that my self. I sorry that we don't totally agree on this. I do appreciate how you are trying. I
know your pain with this decision. I just want to end this pain, move on and try to pick up the
pieces of our lives and be happy again. Yes I want this betwwen you and me, so no one else is hurt as
well. I not saying that our hurt won't be worst. but why involve more people for our mistake.This
to will make matters worse. I hope you don't view that last comment as selfish. I just mean it
will be a little easier pick up those pieces and move forward. I know you hate me for this and I am
sorry. We've always been up front with one another and that's all I'm doing. I do care about you
Val, you know that. I just want the suffering to stop and the healing to begin. I'll write more
later. Br.
Val, I apologize for down playing your emotions as of late. In my quest to minimize the damage I forgot to consider all emotion. I realize that emotion is a vital piece of information needed to arrive at a tough very tough decision. I'm so scared that I've have indeed over looked these values. I really don't think I was doing it for selfish reasons only, but I see how you must see it that way. As your friend, I will ask you to consider all of your emotions while deciding. Hopefully John will help along the way. I'm sorry for pressuring you. I am trying to look at all angles and it scares me too. I don't want to be a father at 47. I don't want you to be haunted the rest of your life as well. I hope and pray that we can agree and move forward to repair the damage that has occurred. This is going to be an even harder week than last so try to rest, talk with John, email me what ever helps, do it. I'm sorry my compassion seems limited to you. I assure you that it isn't. I realize the magnitude of this situation and the sacrifice I'm asking you to make.I guess I can only imagine and not truely feel your pain. However do see the pain in both our hearts and just want to see it stop.

signed your rotten friend, trying not to be so rotten...Br.


John is the therapist I started going to last week.

I appreciate all of your insite. It gives me more strength then you'll ever know. Valerie

Anonymous said...

Valerie,

There is so much packed into those emails. I would like to point out a few things I noticed.

So here goes.

Quote:
Yes live with for the rest of our lives


You will live it with more so than him.


Quote:
A child that neither one of us wants.


He may not want, but you have said
Quote:
This baby will be loved. Maybe not by you but I know I can reach deep enough in this heart & soul and find that love for this child.

This shows how deeply you want this child.


Quote:
I just want to end this pain, move on and try to pick up the
pieces of our lives and be happy again.


This is only speaking of what he wants. Can you really pick up the pieces aftewards if you do what he wants.


Quote:
We've always been up front with one another and that's all I'm doing.


Now is the time for you, to be up front with him and send him the letter.
Valerie, I understand this is so hard, but please listen to your heart and read back a few posts on how strong you were when you made the decision to keep the baby. Your weakness seems to surface when you start thinking abortion.


Quote:
I don't want to be a father at 47.


He can either play an active roll in being a father or not. This does not mean that you can't be a mother. And a good mother you will be, I am sure of that. You have family, friends, pug dogs Very Happy and a good head on your shoulder, along with a very loving heart. To me this sounds like a great life for a child.

Anonymous said...

How are you doing Val? I can imagine how hard it would be to know that the man you love feels so differently from you and to have him not hear/understand your thoughts. I hope that you're staying strong, since abortion is clearly something that you don't want to do. ((((Hugs))))

I think that he's not fully getting the emotional factor involved with an abortion. If you don't want the abortion, it's not going to be as easy as "ending the pain, moving on, and picking up the pieces and being happy again." The suffering won't stop once the abortion is over...it'll just create new sources of suffering.

I wonder if his "compassion" is open to you if you choose to keep the baby? I guess only time will tell. Ruth is right though, you're not forcing him to drop everything and marry you to be a happy family. That choice is his...this choice is yours.

Please give an update asap okay hon? Sorry I haven't been around...life has been crazy.

Anonymous said...

We are still in limbo. I gave him the letter last Monday and he still won't give up begging. I technically have until Wed and he made me make an appt for Tuesday but I'm not going. He just won't accept this. I realize how much pain I will cause other people in this but I can't have an abortion. Have I said enough times yet? I want to be excited about this but he won't let me. I told a close friend Leo about it last night. He told me no Val. Don't have the abortion. Bruce will get over it. He's just afraid to face Donna. His girlfriend. Leo said he's wanted to be with you for the last 4 years. Leo said this is about you and your baby and I won't let him take either of you. Leo has a 1.5 year old and his wife recently had a miscarriage. He said it's the greatest gift you ever receive. He said he never realized it until his son was born but he feels like that's when his life really began. I feel guilty telling our friend but I had to Bruce has been insane at his catering hall that we all work at. It's all of our side job and used to be a place of great fun. Leo's other job is as a principal. He told Leo that he is very depressed. Because everyone keeps asking Bruce what's wrong with him. Leo told him to go talk to someone and Bruce said maybe I will this week. Last week was emotionally trying. He did come here one day and broke down and told me if I had the baby he would stand by me but then he went back to begging. I survived and I know this week will be the same. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers thru this difficult time. Please pray that we can grow and that I will have courage to tell him NO for the 5th time. My poor pugs are tired of seeing me in my robe crying all day. I work from home. I'm on the road with appts but when I'm here I just cry and cry and cry. Val

Anonymous said...

Val, I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this with a guy who clearly can only see his own needs. I'm proud of you for staying strong and not having an abortion when that's truly not what you want! This should be a very happy and exciting time for you and he shouldn't be trying to ruin that for you! Since he is bringing you down so much, is there any way that you can just tell him that if he's not going to be supportive, that you don't want to hear from him/see him/talk to him anymore? You have friends that are very supportive of your decision and happy for you, do you really need this one guy bringing you down and making you cry?

Anyway, I just wanted to give my 2 cents worth, and let you know that I will be praying for you - for strength and happiness.

(((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

Val,

You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers this week. Just keep being strong hon. You're doing the right thing for you, and that is what is important...your friend is right. Bruce will get over this - or he'll move on. He just sees a way out and is desparately trying to take it...even though it won't really set things back to normal for you.

((((Hugs))))) Update us, okay?

Anonymous said...

Hi Val,

Quote:
Bruce will get over it. He's just afraid to face Donna. His girlfriend.


This is something that really bothers me. Does he still see this Donna?
I hope you do realize that he can not have his cake and eat it too in this case.

I would definetly, like Marnie said, start a healthy seperation from him.
You have sounded so good when talking about all the support you receive and them when you talk about him, you sound very down and discouraged.

Stay near the people that support you and away from the other. You need the support now and you deserve it.

By the way your words to Alana, the 17 yr old were beautiful, thank you for helping someone when you are in need yourself.

You are a beautiful person with so much to offer, especially to the child you are now carrying and when you look at your nephew, I hope you can see a wonderful future. Please stay strong, you are doing the right thing.

Anonymous said...

He just won't accept it. Today was the last day I could have an abortion. I told him NO at least 100 times. He is relentless in his persistance. It hurts and I am trying to remain strong. He has worn me down but I didn't give in and I feel good about that somewhere inside. I'm just so exhausted right now. I don't even like him right now. He has shown me a very ugly side of himself so far. He is not the man I thought I knew. This makes me very sad. Val

Anonymous said...

Well I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. Come on ladies, isnt this what freedom of choice is really about? The right to choose what we want and not what everyone else thinks we should want?! You have to do what is right in your heart and I am so glad you were strong enough to tell him where to shove off....Go girl!

Anonymous said...

Val,

Sometimes the storms in life can bring out the true person. Thankfully you have found this out before more damage could have been done.

Please stay strong and know that all of us here are praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking that the part that feels slightly happy is going to continue to grow. Wink How many weeks are you now? Are you feeling pretty good health-wise? Have you had a prenatal appointment yet?

I am so proud of you for standing your ground hon. You aren't going to regret it. You're right...he's proven that he is a jerk. I hope that he'll realize how horribly he's acted. He may or may not. No matter what though...you have proven that you are a strong woman, and that is just awesome!

(((Hugs)))) and belly rubs! You should start posting on the pregnancy board now. Wink

Anonymous said...

I still crying all the time. I feel like someone died. I don't this awful man is. I just keep telling myself it will get better. I will post on the pregnany board next. I go for my second prenatal appt Thursday. Hopefully that gets me excited about all this. I am 14 weeks pregnant. I don't look it yet I just look exhausted which I am. Here's to things looking up. I know they will. They always do. Thank God for the pugs. They stand by me regardless. Valerie

Anonymous said...

Val

We will so look forward to you posting on the pregnancy board. We like it when that happens. I always felt a renewed sense of strength after each doctors visit. You see the heartbeat or hear it and the doctor tells you fun stuff like how much he/she has grown and even when you feel yucky, these appts always were a picker upper.